Christmas Is Coming =X

Time is moving sporadically nowadays. I mean when I look at the calendar I'm partially shocked and amzaed that it's like just slightly more than a week ago that I was dealing with my last A levels paper, yet time is moving incredibly slow. Feels like it's been a month or more that I've been lazing at home; Ironically as much as I dread that time seems to be crawling I also sort of wish it was not that fast because of many things. =/

Well... Khairiyah's birthday is like round the corner and I am like cracking my brains over what I shld do. =X Well actually I shldn't even be posting this thing here incase khairiyah reads my blog and it no longer becomes a surprise zzzzz. But too late liao, cuz last few post I said le so whatever liao. Anyways got a few things I wanna plan this december. But let's keep it a bit mysterious. Firstly gonna be Santa Clause hohohoho. Secondly Khairiyah Birthday bash and plan ^^V. Next, a surprise sendoff for someone during early january. Gotta start cracking my head for some good ideas zzzz...

Anyways as I continue to read the lovely complex manga the more I feel I'm poisoned by fantasy zzzz. Now i really wish that life was more like the manga. But too bad it's not. Hence feel really bored now.... =//

Still nothing much to say. Rather it's hard to put into words. Well look forward to next monday becuz Toh Liling is coming back from her Genting trip and I can go her house for baking. YAY!!! Toh Liling quick come back leh XD!!! Oh well... I have nothing much to say anyways... So shan't mumble on...

(No inspiration of a title =.=)

Yea today finally mock interview was over. It was a good experience and all... But how to put it... as much exciting as it was I sort of long anticipated that surely I would do good for interviews. So I guess congratz to myself, the trainer said she would definitely give me the scholarship, and if someone didn't it would no longer be that the problem lies with me. Not wanting to sound all arrogant or anything but then... yar a bit expected anyways since I'm a natural at oral skills and now with the interview secrets and techniques that i learnt.

I went to purchase the whole manga set of lovely Complex today. Still reading them as of now. AWESOME as always XD I mean the manga storyline is almost the same as the anime and movie yet somehow different. It goes into greater detail and there was even more scenes which were neither shown in the anime nor movie. For now I'm engrossed. heee so tmr will be a whole day of reading the manga and indulging in the world of Lovely Complex. ^^V

Having these weird empty feelings lately. Wonder what that could mean. Someone warned me about me getting too engrossed in Lovely Complex and hence poisoning my own mind with too much fantasy. A bit skeptical at first. But how to say... Do somehow feel something is lacking. I look towards the romance and frenships etc in the anime and all and start to wish I had them or live a life in that fantasy reality. Perhaps that would start to explain the sudden bore with life itself. Lacks the exciting elements in the fantasy world. Wonder how things will turn out... =X Have imposed silence again today on someone else. Well to be perfectly honest, when i impose silence I always know u know... that I'm being unreasonable. It's not that I am so evil and forceful in wanting people to enjoy the things that I enjoy. It's really not that. When I say I'm angry... I'm not angry at anyone in particular. Just feel lousy and angry that's all... Imposing silence is just my way to avoid like feeling negative or getting angrier while my flames simmer so that next time I see someone I would be alright again...

Perhaps as someone i rmb once told me. What's wrong with me you know? No one thinks like that. Only I do... Well... haiz... I can't really do anything about that. So for now since I've imposed silence... let's be it bah... I guess I just lack the social skills...

Anyways... latest development in the teaching internship thing. Saw a picture and info about the teaching supervisor I would be having already. Apparently it's a physics teacher, and I was rather shocked since... I am not even going to teach physics... so I wonder wth that arrangement was about. Feel the stress coming as I start to realise that the hands of the students are in my hands. Gotta make sure I'm a good teacher or I would really disappoint those students. I do have confidence in the subjects that I am teaching. But then... teaching them to a whole class is another thing entirely. fingers-crossed... ...=X

Do feel fantasy and reality are closing together in my mind... perhaps my mind is really starting to get poisoned by Lovely Complex and it's fantasy ideals... ...

All In A Days' Rant

It's two days since I made my last post, and although it's just a mere 48 hours I sort of have loads of things to talk about. Been wanting to write something the past few days but was too busy to do it, and well finally today I am going to let it all go in one big post ^^V.

Ok let's start with JJC prom 2009. Haha Went through all the prom pictures of our class people and people I know, and i was like shocked and amazed really. I mean the girls particularly. When they doll up themselves they are really really pretty XD No kidding. Hmmm... not exactly some fashion expert, but i thought peishing looked like a princess, nice hair btw. Toh Liling =.= ya lar ya lar I look closer you really look more sophisticated and pretty also la =D. Cynthia from E club was like very nice ^^V and many many more. Though things to comment on the shock scale would be Peiting's surprising hairstyle. Really blew my mind away o.O Abigail also very different. OMG I thought i saw a ghost. You were damn white la. =.= Winnie also look very different. But compared to Peiting they all okok la actually not that big a diff. Well hope everyone had an enjoyable prom night in Las Vegas and brought home with them beautiful and grandur memories of their graduating years. =)

Yesterday I was rather cheerful until some unpleasant incident like burned me up. =/ I was like complaining to toh liling how totally annoyed i was that I had to impose one of my famous silence on people. Sec school people shld know how serious and severe it is when I impose silence on someone. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR... Well it started with just a small flame which then escalated into this huge forest fire the more I think about it. Well for now... Fire still sky high and waging. But with time any fire will be extinguished. So let's just see how long this fire would last =/// But point to note to self is that I dun like fiery anger. I dun believe in that. Feel it is childish. Rather I believe in cold anger. The type when u ignore someone or hate them but not say a word. Let it all just rage from the heart, but show it in a subtle way.

Today is the second day of my scholarship course. I have to say it is really worth the money. It cost $90 btw. But the school has subsidised us money already. The speaker was extremely assertive and professional. She was an interviwer herself and is a personal trainer of the corporate world. I mean all of us were like awed at her stories of interviews and her own personal tips. She got us all to go up in front of everyone and like practise some questions that we write for ourselves. Learnt so much about communication and how we present ourselves as well as many things which I can expect to be asked during an interview. As much as it was nerve wrecking to talk infront of everyone, I guess it was good practise u know. after two days i kind of got used to talking in front of people and sharing my views. Another thing to commend about this workshop is that the trainer actually helps us discover what are our values, goals, missions and beliefs. She hears from us individually and give feedback on whether we shld revise it to make it sound more like a goal or what. And THANKS CLAIRE!!! U really helped me forget all about my confusion. For now I think u have finally helped me find out what course I shld take in University ^^V I really appreciate it so much, becuz I have been unable to sleep well for a long time. Becuz I am constantly harassed and haunted by the question. Overall during lunch we all agreed that this was absolutely money well spent. If given a choice of signing up again. GOSH we all would definitely do so and encourage ppl to close one eye on the course and soon they will find out why it is THAT worth it. Tmr would be the mock interview =X Going to prepare for it soon. Going to be interviewed like I am really going to some scholarship talk. There is even going to be a video camera and all so that we can see ourselves. And at the end of the day she is going to tell us if she would award us the scholarship =X Quite nervous. But after I know what I want. I FEAR NOTHING NOW!!!

Well I guess I have some positive bonuses according to Claire before the interview. She says I have an open face and a very friendly smile which not many people have. Which is very welcoming and will help build rapport with the interviewers. Anyways she also taught us how to build physical rapport with the interviewers through our body language which I thought was extremely interesting and useful. Also my language is fluent and clear, and I have a very child-like wonder which makes my voice especially attention grabbing and spirit lifting. AWESOME ^^. Well shall post again tomorrow to say if I will be awarded the scholarship during the mock interview. But really gotta do my hmwk for tmr. (TURNS OUT u really need to do a LOT of hmwk for an interview)

kk last but not least. today I went to the briefing at MOE for my teaching internship. Sad thing was I never really saw any JJ students at all. Perhaps there were? I dunno. But I didn't see any. =/ Felt rather lonely becuz a lot of people came in groups. Well still congratz to myself. I am the 1/4 of the people who applied for this internship and got it. woohoo. Well I think this scholarship workshop helped me have a feel of talking in front of the crowd so I am that much more confident that I will try my best to be a great teacher during my whole school experience. Curiously though, many people say I look like a teacher. So I guess this would the best time to see how true is that yea. Well all is a mystery. Life is a thrill. Continued emphasis today that everyone is equal but unique. Tmr shall be a fun day to look forward to. For now I go do my hmwk and PREP =.=

A Surprising Discovery

Following up from yesterday's prom day at home... hmm seriously went to check out the various scholarships and schools and courses etc. Well sort of made up my mind that I'm going to NUS since they offer a really interesting programme called USP which has gotten sparkles all over my eyes hahaha. Well course-wise still as always a blur. Hopefully as time comes by this haze will slowly subside.

Looked through the prom pictures this morning all excited. But guess too bad 08S02 prom pics are not up yet. Kinda hope they were though. But I did saw F3 prom pics. Some ppl were easily recognisable while others I was like searching high and low becuz below the fb pic they called state the name but I can't even find them =.=. One of these was Winnie. I was like searching so hard you know cuz I was like thinking WHERE THE HELL got? Until I finally gave up and eliminate one by one then I found and I was like AYEEEEEEEEEEEE... There she is. ok so enough of the drama lol. But this game was really fun. Let's call it search for the ppl in the prom pics game ^^V. Mildred also looked quite different. She looked very pretty leh hahaha of course not to say she looks ugly to begin with la =.=.

So woke up this morning all excited. Played the prom pics game and got awed by ppl's amazing transformations, and then again I find myself telling myself over and over in my head... zzz I'm Bored... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Still think Lovely Complex is fantabulous and awesome beyond reason, that goes without saying. It is in thy heart that it shall forever ignite with passion ^^V.

Well some bad news for everyone. Surely this is a douse of cold water. get this! 29.58% of Singapore A level graduates obtain 3H2 As in 2008 T.T Worst 29.31% of A level graduates obtained 4H2 As in 2008 zzzzzz And here I was thinking that if I could get 3H2 As I would be good. But there goes that saying that one mountain is always higher than the other... T.T Well except for Everest of course LOL.

So that means if I just get 1 less A I am out of the game. Loser for life; future ruined; syonarra scholarships; viva la vida my hopes and dreams. It's kind of hard to imagine that majority of ppl get 3H2 As. =.='' seriously. I would have thought it was the minority you know. Well face facts I guess... U snooze you lose. And a startling new thought for me. Perhaps i shld just leave all the future planning to AFTER i get back my A levels. For all u know I may be in for a big surprise and see my dreams plummet to rock btm... Hai depressing. Oh well that's why I have lovely complex for *-*

My Stay-home Prom Day

A lovely 4th time re-watch of Lovely Complex. And I gotta tell you it just doesn't get boring *-*!!! Well... Guess what? Today's Prom Day again. And the decision still the same as secondary school. No prom for me as well. Kinda regret it really but at the same time kinda glad. I guess I'm being ambivalent now haha Perhaps fickle too. But oh well... I have my own reasons.

Decided to do something productive today since everyone was like preparing for prom and I feel kinda left-out sad to say. But nontheless have fun peeps ^^ Hope everyone dress nice nice and have a great time! Look forward to prom pics so that I can laugh at them and perhaps be amazed at 'Ugly duckling to swan' makeover stories LOL. Cleared my room today, and I'm proud to say alas that the right side of my table is finally going to see the light of day. encountered great dilemma though. For I wasn't sure if I could throw all those JC notes away since I was going for teaching intern in Jan and they could really come in handy.

been receiving scholarship application invitation letters from NUS, NTU,... and suddenly I realise that just as I were in primary school till now I have no aims nor aspirations. I wonder what course to take you know. I guess I'm at a bad state right now since I have practically no idea of what I want to be nor what I'm suited for. I only have family goals haha... Sad to say I'm more sentimental than serious and practical. Always watch those shows on TV where guys with dreams are just HOT lol. Guess I must be missing that HOT factor since I have no dreams of the future =.= Boiling down to it I guess I'm just too simple and content with the daily pleasures of life.

Some of those scholarships were pretty tempting I have to say, yet, I dun wanna take up a scholarship anyhows without bearing in mind the aftermath and the things it entails. Again more dilemma and confusion =.= someone funny said I shld go be a writer and I was like laugh laugh laugh. But what truely is to laugh is that I just might go into the writing business. Who knows man? To put it in a good way, I'm a piece of newly-purchased clay that can be moulded into anything. But hey hey, let's face reality that I'm just really indecisive. =/

As I watch lovely complex episode 24. I start to wish my future path will just suddenly come clear to me like on the show when i meet something that truely inspires me on the road and makes me say... I WANT TO DO THAT!!! XD Oh bless Otani and Koizumi, the dynamic duo in Lovely Complex ^^V.

Well... If you ask me, truth is I do have a small dream. But kinda feel awkward to say it out you know. Because this is not something an academic brain will say. Because that just means that I wasted my whole life studying when I do not even need to haha. If only I can open my own store one day I was thinking that sells nice food and beverages. It is to laugh... but my small dream was to open a successful dessert shop I guess =). But I wonder how on earth chemisty, biology, math or even GP is going to come handy for this =.=. Although when I was a baby the fortuneteller did say I would make it big in the food industry and be very rich ^^.

Perhaps one day when I have earned enough money I will do that bah ^^V It is afterall my small small fantasy. The future is a blur to me, and I have my own personal values that I shall not make up things on the spot during a scholarship interview or something. I shall not lie just to get in. I want to be sure before I do anything. That sounds kinda MAN doesn't it? hohohohoho XD

Whether I choose science; Whether I choose business; Whether I choose the Arts; Whether I choose medicine; Whether I choose the public services sector... I just hope when I do I'll be sure. I'll be sure of what I need to do to deliver (Y)

XD

THANKS LOVELY COMPLEX XD
I'm SERIOUSLY SUPER SUPER HAPPY NOW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

A Drug That Makes Me Go Dazey(HOHOHOHO!!)

Anyone reading this has JUST GOT TO WATCH THIS FREAKING GOOD ANIME!!!! It is not just a show, it is THE show. Emphasis on 'THE SHOW'!!!! OMG I dun even know where to start. It's so great it has got me giddy and excited just talkng about it hahahaha... This anime was SO impactful it made me wanna share my happiness with everyone I know. Becuz after watching it I have this strange sense of happiness and bliss like the feeling of I'm in love. SERIOUSLY I swear. And I'm not the only one who says that! Hooi Kim also say watch le will give a sort of blissful feeling. But oooohhhh.... I feel like I'm in heaven.=) When characters of the anime cry I grab a pack of tissue. When they laugh I laugh along. And when romantic moments come my palms sweat and I stare with my eyes glued to the moniter. I swore i screamed like a fangirl on multiple occasions too XD

kk... I was so excited that I forgot to mention what this anime is called in the first place zzzz. It's... LOVELY COMPLEX. Dear lord jesus and god from all religion thanks for the godsend. I'm so greatful *_*!!! All go this link: http://www.animefreak.tv/watch/lovely-complex-episode-1-english-dubbed-online-free!!! I bet my dignity that u will LOVE it! It's my greatest regret not watched this earlier. The blessing and lover of my present. And the inspiration for my future. This is not just GOOD. It is AWESOME and FANTABULOUS!!! It is MOST IMPTLY... good... for the SOUL... *_* To summarise it's about a relationship between two most unlikely ppl. A girl who is freaking tall and a guy who is freaking short. You can expect to see heartwarming scenes and of course comedic ones that will make u ROFL. U can count on my words.

I wonder what magic this show has that makes me change my view of many things. Used to have these feelings that BGRs are horried and all for awhile post some traumatic experience. But now love is painted in a rosy picture to me now. =D I just keep feeling honey and smile to myself everyday. Never felt this good for ages. It's like all my troubles and worries just momentarily disappeared after watching this life-changing show... It's a magical drug. been rewatching it multiple times. You know it is SO GOOD they converted this anime into a life action movie starring real life actors. AND I NVR THOUGHT REAL LIFE WOULD BE SO AWESOME. After I watched it i almost fainted from happiness... Like if I got hit my a car I would die with no regrets LOL.

Well one of my most fav episodes... (Of COURSE all of them ARE MY FAV!!! HOHOHOHOHO ^^V) was one about the birthday when the guy finally confess to the girl after rejecting her two times, which lasted over 17episodes... =.= zzzz. But it was worth the wait those magical 17 episodes, when they finally got tgt. XD Well... about birthdays... I guess one of my good friend's bday is coming right up... Khairiyah. I wonder what I shall do this time. Oh and not to mention Christmas is coming too. I guess almost everyone would be receiving presents from me since I'm on a starvation diet and have tons of money to spend on gifts ^^V Well did wanted to spend all that money on something i really want... But nah I guess christmas comes once a yr and I'm going army soon so might as well spend my last christmas as a teen before i go into army and become supposedly a man... =.=

Birthdays sure remind me of many things... But I shall not elaborate. And I guess there is such a thing as drug immunity. Becuz... I mean I still think the anime was fantabulous and AWESOME just the effect that it gives me of erasing all bad memories all that seems to be weakening... haha Oh well nothing last forever i guess... So many burning qns in my mind now. but k I guess i just go rewatch the whole anime series again. ^^V

There is a three letter word I have been wanting to use for a long time though... ... oh well... =X