Prequel Before CNY

I just realised that it has been a long time since I posted a picture in my blog. Well CNY is just round the corner, and because of work, I dun even have time to clean my room yet. It was a super busy and dramatic week. This week was actually the first time that I was going to teach a class. Somemore my first time had to be 5 classes in a row. I came up with this wesome lesson plan that was apparently so good that it created more stress... =.= Namely because the method I employed was so creative that the whole geography department heard of its success in the first class I went to and so all wanted to sit in for my lesson to see my so called 'puppet show'. So imagine, a class of students with a teacher teaching and 5 other teachers sitting behind to watch zzzzzz.

But really I think I outdone myself LOLOLOL. I thought my way of teaching the flexible production system was awesome. haha. So my supervising mentor's comments were that I was very serious and diligent. The students could see that I was sincere because i memorised all their names even before they even met me. (I actually asked the teachers to give me the class list to memorise ahah) The puppetshow idea was also really brilliant and good. So in short they said I was a good teacher ^^V. Even for chemistry practical. I was taking the chemistry practical lesson that day as well... The teacher said I was actually not bad at all =D Well even though probably I could do teaching, the thing was I am damn tired =/ I mean I have to teach the EXACT same lecture for all my geography classes. Same thing over and over. I so sian by the second lesson already =.= GOSH. and next week, I have to do the same lesson for 2 other classes. =.='''''''''''''''''''''''

Oh OH and I actually brought into class this tibetian bell to control the students when they were too noisy and it worked like a charm. AWESOME. One student actually said...' Cher... u SO COOL' XD LOLOLOL Well enough about the teaching thing. So basically my week went by like that because all the lessons were killing me like SERIOUSLY =.= Thank all our teachers REALLY, becuz being a teacher is SO SO HARD. And I am not even handling any CCA or marking. That would have made my life utter hell zzzzz.

So went shopping for new year clothes on my own today. Got all these cool clothes and I was quite shock how I could spend $500 in an hour to buy my new year clothes. But oh well... the $$$ is given by my parents for new year shopping anyways hahaha. So might as well spend all. I bought so much branded goods la my god. lol One polo tee i buy for $70+. But it was really nice hee

To end things all up for today... I just wanna say that... I guess the time is about to be here again... I'll definitely say something, becuz i hardly get a chance. But I will always know that it will nvr happen... =/ But I just want u to know that... I'm really not kidding or saying things lightly when I do... I was being... genuine about it... =X I'm not that great after all... it's true =/ In fact that sentence thrown at me last time is still left etched in me... That I recall it ever so often that it reminds me that I am nvr that perfect in anything... Nvr truely deserving things unless it is earned through work and time... actually... I really have nothing to counter =X It is as it is said... not that great... ... =/

First Time Worker

This would be the very first time that I am actually earning a salary for myself. lol. I have to say this though... In the 2 weeks and a bit that I have been in MI doing teaching internship, I really really have a new found appreciation for teachers. being a teacher is really so HARD and so tiring. I usually just come home and collapse without noticing. And worst is when I wake up there is still answer keys to rush for deadline, past year qn compilation works and of couse preapring for lessons and doing the homework of finding interesting videos and all to share during the lecture/tutorial class. =/

I'm dead beat. Dun even have time to like post blog posts for the past few days. It's just stress and more stress. This thursday I am like going to have 8 periods of lecture with 4 different classes... zzzz And to be honest I am like damn nervous that I will be like all shakey or experience technical difficulties. I seek refuge in my dreams only to have dreams of me teaching in school =.= When I wake up it's like I just came back from work like that =////

Teaching definitely has it's good sides. I mean the satisfaction of it all when a student gets it. And seeing students do well and acknowledge u is just awesome. But not to brag or anything. But I realise that my chemistry is really quite powerful ah LOLOLOL. I won't lose to RJC ppl and some concepts I am actually stronger than the new teachers haha probably cuz I just took A levels so the concepts are fresh in my mind. Still makes me kinda happy though HAHAHA. P.S I also have like some uni knowledge from the chemistry olympied thing so ^^V. kk enough bragging.

Actually the reason why I posted today is becuz I suddenly have this thought and feeling. Actually kinda miss certain times and images of ppl seem to get blurred with time. I'm starting to wonder if it is going to be soon forgotten. Where layers and layers of sand cover things up. The sands of time and the derbis of saturated work life. If it is so I truely feel sad... As I struggle to find that feeling back only to find it diminishing every single day, as I hold on tight to what is to soon probably be ethereal.

Until that day comes... I will try my very bestest to keep that feeling. Becuz forever means something in some point of one's life. And to see forever be validated by harsh reality it just goes to show how dreams can never ever come true. to pretend that I dun care is just running away. Becuz things do matter to me. But I am human =X I can only try, never to know the outcome. But I know i will nvr be satisfied if things go on like this. So I'll try... =/

I watched a shojo anime... only to start having new expectations. Gosh anime poisoning again =.=

Sunny Days and Thoughts

It has been quite awhile since I last posted something. But was either too busy or too tired to do so. Being a teacher is really very tiring and life-draining curiously. It kind of makes me really appreciate my teachers for who they were and what they did. I came into this teaching internship initially to be truthful just to prove myself worthy that I could be selected because teaching was never really something I wanted to do. But these few days have sort of proved me wrong.

Because as busy as I am... I realise that I am enjoying every single day. Sure, going home by taking 2 buses is really really really ANNOYING. But the time I spend in school I really do find myself happy. So... perhaps teaching ain't so bad after all. And to boost, my geography is really really powerful right now. I've even got to master my urban topic even though I didn't study it for my A levels. ^^V Being attach to the Drama club as my CCA has been one of the greatest things that have happened so far. I got to have my face painted =) and the students also like invite me to rehearse with them. This was a time I got to show off my drama-skills LOL and get credited for it hohoho

Chemistry practical sessions are extremely exciting. I get to see organic synthesis reactions which are AWESOME btw. They actually did the synthesis of azo-dye which JJ nvr let us do zzzzz. So that's all I have to say for work. Avidly preparing for lessons and doing my homework of memorising the whole class's name because if they are willing to learn then I will put in the effort to do my homework to get to know the students better =) That and I probably need to read up more on geography current affairs because I lack the width to share interesting info with the class. =X That being said... I am aspiring to be a strong, independent individual. Fingers crossed though that a lvls get all As.... Something that goes through my mind everyday =////

Been thinking of some rather intriguing notions which is interesting in it's own way. Depressing things too perhaps... and also a harsh reality to face =/ Ah well... that's all I have to write for today

A Post As A Result of Free Tine

LOL guess where I am now? I'm in MI's staffroom with nothing to do. I only have one period today so u can say it's sitting duck for me. The rest of the interns have their classes so basically I'm all lone. Feel like playing neopets and all but also scared later so unprofessional >.< Oh well... monday's school exp was really quite distasteful but Luckily ytd and today was rather pleasant.

I realise I've got loads to brush up on inorder to be a teacher too. So lots of hnwk for me. I have hnwk when i get home.I actully have to mug for geog before the lessons like I am mugging for the a lvls. So maybe when I come out from this internship my a lvl geog and chem would be awesome haha.

Still getting used to calling the teachers by their real names or nicknames. Culture shock there haha. Still a bit timid but then it really feels shuang when the students greet u and then call u cher or Mr Zhao. haha Hopefully i can become more confident infront of a crowd and deliver which is also an aspect of NS that I have to overcome. Still fingers crossed awaiting my a lvl results. If it's not all As I swear I will CRY zzzzz.

Suddenly rmbed something today in the morning... ... I miss... It fell... But then of no use anws. Staff meeting is in a few hrs. Maybe I'll see some interesting stuff there.

A Comparison between Human and Beasts

I was reading this article the other day... An attack on Charles Darwin's theory of evolution and in fact any theory pertaining to evolution. It qned... if humans were indeed evolved from the primates or were we merely created by god. An issue of the ethnic core values, where faith seems to exist in the unknown. If humans were considered superior becuz we have minds. Then what is a 'mind'? do animals have minds too? Is the act of minding just a neuro-activity or is it so much more?

In everyone we see... call ourselves civilised or call ourselves the top of the food chain. There are beasts in all of us. Taking the subject of procreation into the matter, let's analyse this: A man has to fight battles against other males inorder to get a mate. This is nature trying to select for the better male passing his better genes to the future generations. But whilst in the urban jungle... maybe such archaic and beastly instincts do previal. What a woman sees in a man. The power to start a family unit, the strength and intelligence, the good looks or maybe just great personality traits. Maybe females are the selectors (pardon me if there is no such word) for making better humans. They choose the best male to bear their offsprings and so pass on favourable genes. and through it all... men have to think of multiple ways to make themselves more attractive to their polar nemesis. lol

I'm not sure if evolution is wrong. Maybe god created us or such. But then again I dun think I have the power to change such theories grounded on years and years of research and hordes of believers. But one thing I'm quite certain. I see humans no more than animals. Be it maybe we came from the butt scratching, lice-ridden monkeys =.=(which i dread the thought). There must be some deep understanding in this all... So let's call this... 'the truth'. Maybe one day when i die I may know what the truth is... But until then... I'll forever live in my urban jungle, where the threats of rising global temperatures are as good as a forest fire and where stampedes of people are abound during chinese new year chinatown or sentosa countdown parties. When u draw a line between the species and the order, class and phylogeny... maybe that line ain't so thick as we thought...

Well moving on... to the topic of greatness. Seeing tmr is going to be my first day being an actual teacher in MI. I'm really starting to get the butterflies. =/ But seeing that a teacher is a noble profession i wish in the process i may just learn a thing or two abt what makes someone great. And it is then maybe i can be a greater person and a fren to ppl around me. And i guess more imptly i wanna feel great abt myself... =/

The Memory That Echoes

Until today... probably a week had passed by... But some phrases u hear from people. Those that actually get to the heart they nvr really fade away as do daily conversations do. Keep hearing them repeatedly in the head. Not to say they were wrong. Not to say they were words that bring fire. Also not to say I feel like dying... Just feel hollow as though some lonely cold wind scud by the sort of thing whenever that videoclip replay in the head...

Life's not as easy as it seems... I'm working my guts out to not be something I dun wanna become or rather remain. I want to make a difference and lead a different life. I want to hold my head high again if that ever matters to anyone. I want to dare to go out and see the world and show people the confident side of me instead of withdrawing and feeling like an outcast...

But then again... the words go on and on in my head... and i wonder if... maybe after everything... it's right that... I'm still some lousy soul afterall... just thinking I mean something to this world when I'm not... who am I anyway? Neither rich nor good company too... and whenever i rmb those words... I dun feel like hanging out or being frens with anybody... Feel like being alone until I figure out how to be a great person so that ppl would enjoy my company and as a fren =/

Really I guess... ... 'You think you so great?' a nvr dying phrase.... ...

The Whys, Hows and Silly Things

It's a long time since I last posted anything here... figured some things are just meant not to be posted... Well I've sort of sorted through them myself so it's the calm of a storm. Discoveries be it for the better or those that make u horrible, I guess that's why we are humans... We always try even when we know we might fail. So I'll try to improve myself so that I can lead a happier life.

Stuff people said... Some speak to me... While others, as simple as a mere phrase is gonna be in my mind for the rest of my life. 08S02 chalet was a day of reckoning and self discovery when i start to see the real me and until now I dun dare to ask the people how they felt or if what I am thinking of how they felt were indeed true... =/ But whatever it is... I've decided not to ask anymore. Becuz thing is I thought I was horrible so I shld do something to change myself.

Walking home today after a trip to the gym and I saw that grass patch that has been left bare after some deconstruction took place a year ago. And i rmbed Toh Liling once said that the grassy area was cooler. And that time I responded that no way... cuz plants respire too so logically speaking a grassy area will feel hotter than a barren piece of land... Just random thoughts here. lol

Discovered some facts about proteins and fat metabolism today while I was surfing the net and realised i made a super BIG mistake in my dieting plans. Well not too late to correct them since I just started ytd anyways.This time I'm gonna build muscle instead of just thinking of slimming down =) Hopefully with the extra muscle my fats will be burned off more easily.

Singing songs today all day long... Sounds really dumb... But always like to memorise the lyrics of my fav songs. And this time i actually learning an anime song. Sakura kiss in Ouran High School Host Club. Ah well... a big sweat at the gym, a haircut and then a cold shower feels awesome... =)