So I was inspired by this evil queen who seemed so cool with all the power in the world and the ability to kill anyone without any restraint. But I quickly come to realise that being evil feels bad. I played this realistic rpg game and decided to make evil decisions at every turn and in the end my entire group abandoned me and betrayed me. The person I love in the game was terribly upset with the evil decisions I made and resented me. Though it was a game... It felt so real. At least the feelings were real inside me. I really felt very sad and disappointed in myself. So I've decided that for as long as we live we should never be evil. Even if it means having awesome authority or powers or whatever the case. Maybe we need to reconsider every move we make, becuz the ends might not justify the means as which to reach it.
NS is coming in just a mere 2 days and I am ever so anxious. I have desires and visions of glory and pride. But ever so embarrassed to admit it because everybody would probably laugh at me for having dreams. So I shall tell myself to move on no matter how hard things get. That when the going gets tough I wanna not be tougher but just strong enough to stay alive at all cost. I want to shape an iron will and face fear in the eye. Learn the art of socialising with other people and get a chance to try to prove something. If to make a point you have to go and spend 2 years then so be it. Seriously I'm tired of some ppl and their words of hurt which probably they are unaware that they dish out. But it's okay... becuz they probably dun mean it or thought it affects me but nvm. One day... I'm going to grow up and make the big bucks I dream about and live the dream I have. I always want to be white... the colour that is not influenced by others no matter what. But yet still makes ppl want to put color on it...
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