The Rise After The Fall

I only come to realize that my emotions are now more or less contained after the furious storm that just scudded through. The wake of the onslaught left behind a trail of destruction which I am quite sure will leave scars behind; however time moves on and it is already quite obvious that the healing process has begun. I read this article online during the weekend when I was randomly googling some stuff and it made me understand a few things about people recovering from a traumatic experience.

I learnt that one should not try to hasten the recovery process. By forcing one to 'move on' will only cause one to suppress a lot of emotions. In other words, the person will be deprived from certain feelings that are only necessary to be what it means to be human and becoming stronger afterward. No one ever rushed people to move on, because the truth as it is is that everybody has been there and done that and KNOWS that someone badly injured cannot just wake up the next day like the world is rainbow and sunshine.

To put on a facade will be detrimental. The best way is to actually find a few good friends that you trust and can confide in to share about the feelings that you are supposed to feel, because by expressing it you yourself is facing up to reality instead of avoiding the issue altogether. To confess to something unpleasant takes courage to do so. It takes courage to admit to people who you are and how you exactly feel.

I admit that nowadays... Even though feelings have more or less subsided... ... Sometimes fantasies still cross my mind and honestly that sucks to the very core. What he does I still am interested to know which I sometimes also ask myself who exactly he is to me? I mean why do I even care when I don't even really care about what other people do. Yet, if time were to reverse I also ask myself if I would try this whole friendship again knowing how things would have went and prevented it. The answer to myself was... I don't think it would have worked anyways and I don't think I would want to be good friends with him anymore then as it is now... because the hurt dished out is something I don't think I can handle again... Just as it is now... I wish we never rubbed shoulders to begin with... ... =/// I care...