Silently Loud

It's been 1/4 year, 3 months and about 90 days... Still that fragment of a distant memory lingers and stabs somehwere inside where it is sore and raw. I asked myself what exactly it is that I'm feeling... But sometimes feelings are indescribable. =X In my heart sometimes I'm screaming and shedding a tear, yet, I find no real words to express, only to stay silently loud, and hoping someone would hear. =/

I told people before that individualism is a gift. Ironically, I turned out to be the greatest hypocrite of them all because I don't believe in what I say. I always find myself so different. I feel left out and lonely, but sometimes I feel I complain too much over too little. All my life, since I was born, I've been surrounded by good people who care and protect me in the most adverse of storms. I've grown up surrounded by people who I can trust; I've met all the right people at the right time... I've never ever been exposed to the darker side of the world -- Only the bright and sunny.

Even though the course is soon coming to an end... Memories linger on. I remember all the fond memories but also the unpleasant ones. Till today, they haunt me and I sustain internal injuries day in and day out. I am not a confident individual to begin with, and I really care about how other people think and care. I know... I'm not such a great person as well... Hoping always to be someone that I'm not. How I wish I were this person or that... I'm weak... period.