What I've Been Feeling Since That Day

I have to be perfectly honest that I feel inferior, because everyone around me seems to be perfect looking on the outside. They have good figures and the confidence that I am sure will bring them to excel. I can always hide behind masks and protect myself. Put on a facade that people may think I am so thick skinned. But the truth of it all is I feel fugly =/

I always have this feeling that if I looked better I could do all these things. What am I to say... when it is pretty obvious how this society works: Looks appeal to the eyes of the beholder. Fact: I hate being fat... I absolutely hate being so big-sized. Because when I see my other friends, my buddy wear such nice clothes. It is as if the clothe were made for them to wear and never for someone like me =X

That is why I crave so much to change myself. I want to be confident again. Confident of my looks, my personality. It may seem dumb and foolish but also because in doing so I wish my friends might just treasure me more. I don't really care what other people is going to say anymore about what I am about to do. I only know... I only know... There is not a single person who would truely have understood how I have felt all these years... =/ Everybody has a sad story and this would probably be mine... A tale of how someone struggled with himself because he himself hates to himself...

This is going to be the greatest change in my life... and I think no matter how much it costs it will be worth it... I don't want to be fugly =////