Because I Asked Myself

Because I asked myself... A lot of questions about everything. My brain is constantly thinking and sometimes I do things which amaze myself. Is there really a right way to do things? Or is everything by default?

I always wonder if I am more of a saint or a sinner. Am I trying too hard for so many many things. I hated to be lonely, only to find myself even more lonely than ever. I wonder when it all happened~ When everything changed and I adopted this persona.

I long to be free from such cold thoughts. To fly the clear blue skies with no abandon. Perhaps it's better if I just stopped caring but can I truely do it when my empathetic abilities are so overwhelming... I wanted to say to whoever this might concern:

I think I tried too hard le bah? I wanted to like no other and gave it my most sincere and warmest. But I didn't ever wanted to become a selfish man just so I could be happy. Because that wasn't going to be my intention from the start. I might have err along this path but I swear my heart was pure with zero ulterior motives. All I ever wanted was to be friends with everyone. But I forgot-I guess- along the way that it always takes 2 hands or more to clap. I won't want to be a bother anymore...

My birthday wish soon to come... If there really was a most powerful, 21st birthday wish... It shall not be wasted on finding a gf like the past 20 odd years... This time I only wish... I could find a _________ in everyone....