It Happened As Though For A Reason

I wonder what it all means when you encounter the same things over and over again. A lesson I learnt so fondly- seared into my heart and mind. Yet somehow god seems to let me face those same trials again and again. Meet the crossroad and to make that painful decision and form that hurtful conclusion~~ Where does it all lead to?

All those emotions welling up within me like a lava plume coming to the surface. I always knew I was a guy with strong emotions. But just like a mutant with powers so great that he can't control them. I am a guy with so much emotions that when they do peak I am overwhelmed and lost.

And then I think about a time... when it all started. The painful memories and the subsequent chain of events that led to utter hell. Think of different perspectives only to come back to the same spot like we never even moved one small bit. Isn't that what we do sometimes? We trudged along that muddy trail... Fighting for our lives to reach our destination. We set off with a goal in mind to make our lives that much brighter. But as we seek those answers-so high- we got lost somewhere and when we finally found a trail again we only find ourselves back at the beginning where we all started out? Our destinations re-connected much like a loop in motion... Our hearts strengthened and our minds changed. But was there anything to seek out there at all??? Or did all that just happened just so we would change our hearts and see...


Same things met yet all so different. As if things met before seem like aliens... I wonder where all this comes to?

But I remember as well about feeling others with the heart and not the mind... To do what's best for people and not just about myself~~~ It's hard really~~~ It's hard to think about others before yourself in all situations when the hurt you feel is so real and it prevents you from seeing beyond yourself.

Would I be as good to someone as that person will to me? Face it... I have some issues with myself and being too close will only harm the other. There's nothing to complain about with regards to the pain I feel and hurt I got. Because... it would probably have been better if we didn't meet in the first place. So I decided... it best... I would ebb away~~ for the good of you