Winter: It's The Time For Culling

Winter came like a ravenous beast. Bitter chilly winds beat against the protection of a warm cloak over the body. Overnight... Puddles and ponds froze over and unfortunate creatures perished from the sub-zero temperature. All was silent, except the howling, merciless winds of winter's might~

Morning came and the sun came out. We wake up to a beautiful winter wonderland. The original landscape dressed up in the finest white gown-- As would a bride don on for her wedding day.

Alas... winter came and then it left. The ice from the night melted away and beautiful green sprigs emerged to greet the morning sun. Was there ever winter? when we lived through the spring, the summer and autumn... Did we leave something behind when we proceeded from one place to another? Foot prints in the snow; nothing left when winter left us...

When the next winter come... Would I find back those footsteps I left in the snow? Would I find back those snow angels I so eagerly and excitedly made in those snow covered lawns? Or would it be a winter like no other?

How many winters have we gone through in our lives? How many springs? How many summers? how many autumns? All the same yet somewhat different. And everytime... we told ourselves we would remember what we did last summer... and what we would do the next... But how many did we manage to keep? How many did we truly fulfilled?

What am I trying to say? To be honest I have no idea... At least my brain doesn't... But what my soul and heart is speaking... I am writing it down. It's really so weird sometimes that... there are just things you wish to tell the world. But when you want to tell someone about these things... There just doesn't seem to be a one to do so? Is that lonely? Is that just how things are?

So I prayed to god next to a window and see the stars-- which reminded me of how god promised Abraham that he would make his offspring as numerous as the stars in the night sky... To the god of our forefather Abraham and all human beings that came after him... Do you hear me?

Hoping god will hear me amongst the milky way that is formed by the prayers of many~~

Who should I talk to? What should I do? And how should I deal with this?

For I tried one too many times... To be truly optimistic. Decided to pretend that things would be alright just so they would truly be so. But perhaps that's avoiding the problem and overtime even the toughest balloon explodes with a bang. I yearn for peace from this world, only to find I failed miserably... Wanted to prioritize a higher wisdom above earthly desires and a sinful life but the shackles are so strongly clamped onto my heart. For I lied if I said god was number one in my heart right now. For he's not =( But I am trying to make it so... ... and I'm praying and trying it be so amidst this distracting episode I am facing now~~