"Ordinary life is mundane and dull... may a little drama add a lil zing and of course spice. Different perceptions oxymoronic... Confessions of a teenage drama king read and enlight..."
I remembered why I created this blog in the first place. It only came into existence because I was feeling particularly low during a certain period of time. But I met a special friend. That friend had a blog which I delighted in reading. It inspired me to create my own blog in which I divulged my troubled feelings too. I made it a point to always write in parables so that people reading will not be able to decipher them. Only those who could read between the lines could understand what it all meant.
I never was an honest guy even though I seemed like such a decent person from the outside. I'm a drama king and I exaggerate the truth and manipulate my own recollections to satisfy a drama serial that plays in my head. Oh and I forgot to mention... that special friend in JC who inspired me to start a blog? He left and we 'un-friend-ed' He was my best friend at one time and it was from him I found that I wanted something more to life than academic pursuits and personal glory.
It is a painful story though... one which is better left unsaid. All my blog posts resound with the heartaches and trauma of that past incident though. Having a dream within a dream. One then never wakes up~ Inception much?
It took me awhile but I got over things. The tears I shed and the time I lost... those however, were perishable and impossible to restore. So I thought things would be okay. I learned a new side of myself that I never knew. But something inside me changed... I didn't know why. I felt insecure about many things and it brought me to dark places I never knew.
Sometimes... I tell things so dramatically I wonder why I do so. Is it because I felt really insecure? I wanted attention so badly just so that the people will find me interesting and hence worthwhile to hang out with. It always felt like I had to prove my worth to the ones around me. It gets tired sometimes... What people would only do to this extent I do it to an incredible extent that would often leave people astounded by how much I'm willing to do for others.
At the end of the day, however, when I have given a lot... I told myself I wouldn't wish for anything in return. But that's not true. Deep inside I felt a deceit that wanted to be filled.
People needed each other at first. But when one party recovers from the need then the other party is thrown into an imbalance. Suddenly emotional dependency sets in... and chaos is followed.
Confessions of a teenage drama king: I left something behind in the past... Perhaps this seems the worst of time when the final examinations are impending. Which still hurts me to this day. I can't really concentrate much anyways... When I ask for help... I wonder if you can hear me? Actually I have a lot I wanted to say... but... ... it didn't felt like you would listen or take what I said sincerely =( I lied... about things... to many people. I'm sorry
Sometimes... I tell things so dramatically I wonder why I do so. Is it because I felt really insecure? I wanted attention so badly just so that the people will find me interesting and hence worthwhile to hang out with. It always felt like I had to prove my worth to the ones around me. It gets tired sometimes... What people would only do to this extent I do it to an incredible extent that would often leave people astounded by how much I'm willing to do for others.
At the end of the day, however, when I have given a lot... I told myself I wouldn't wish for anything in return. But that's not true. Deep inside I felt a deceit that wanted to be filled.
People needed each other at first. But when one party recovers from the need then the other party is thrown into an imbalance. Suddenly emotional dependency sets in... and chaos is followed.
Confessions of a teenage drama king: I left something behind in the past... Perhaps this seems the worst of time when the final examinations are impending. Which still hurts me to this day. I can't really concentrate much anyways... When I ask for help... I wonder if you can hear me? Actually I have a lot I wanted to say... but... ... it didn't felt like you would listen or take what I said sincerely =( I lied... about things... to many people. I'm sorry
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