Today I walked backed home as usual... with a heart not as usual as always... An innate feeling of sadness and a distinctive feeling that is just so lonely... The flavour of lost... the taste of seperation... ... With change comes a price that one must pay... Life never was a bed of roses... Wanted with the purest of hearts to strike an equilibrium between two things, with an optimistic mindset that is perhaps too naive. But I guess... it was impossible, and something had to let go for the other to emerge... T.T Tears gather in my eyes as I type this perticularly saddening post... I ask myself... 'Is this necessary...? =X' Becuz... I dun wanna lose someone so important to me yea... ...
Had a talk with Dr Gan today... What she said I guess I would always remember. They were to some people what u would say 'politically correct things to say' , but to me I found inner depth and meaning. Funny u know... Dr Gan actually says she is more happy that my tests are getting poorer and not as perfect as last time... Apparently she was more concerned that I had perfect scores all the time and worried more... becuz... she wanted me to know that... Life is not always so smooth and that I should face more setbacks or really... when I go into adulthood god have mercy on my soul. She was right u know... and even more right to say that... I am starting to become a normal person... temptations... which student doesn't have that? =X I didn't used to have that... and reason being... My life was too smooth-sailing and I only had a clear cut goal and that is to score well in all tests and be top standard. But now faced with crossroads and matters of the heart I am attacked susceptible!
I walked passed that oh so familiar area today as seen from the pictures I took as I walked past... perhaps it will be a long time again will I ever walk that path... But I will never ever forget... never EVER forget... all the happy times and emo times there... becuz every thing whether sad or happy, the memories so lucid and vivid... Can't help feeling bitter sweetness of nostalgia =X
I wish there were better ways to this problem... but I guess I am just weak... If only I was superman then i could enjoy the best of both worlds... But sadly... I am just zm... T.T My heart hurts bad... I know I will be lonelier for now on...and reminisce the days behind... But i will never forget... I will never forget to come back... Becuz that thought... THAT THOUGHT is my motivation to work harder... maybe people will see me as weak... but believe in me becuz I wanna believe in myself... and for that dream I will work hard that that day will come sooner... I dream of that day!
To leave... is to become better... It is so that I can become a better person to that important person and also to account for all the disappointments made... But whatever happens I dun care... Becuz... one day... one day... just any of these days... bro... I will be back so plz... plz... ... Dun forget me yea... ... You're the best bro in the world! (at least my world) So dun forget... becuz I wanna spend the remaining of JC2 with u... that small time left and be a better bro...
We are brothers forever yea... and brothers stick together always and be there for each other! Bro... U must wait for me yea... MUST wait for me... Love u bro... look forward to that day when we can go home tgt again and walk this faithful path which I dream in my dreams... I will be lonelier from now on until that day... Becuz no fren and i mean ABSOLUTELY no one can replace my bro or compare with him... Bro will miss u bro... ... every moment... lonelier... ... T.T BROTHERS!!!
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