Signs

Sometimes things happen around us when we least expect them. They come to us in many forms, mostly in the most bizarre and inconvenient of times. Sometimes, when things are already hard enough, coincidences have to occur to make the entire episode more dramatic. Connect the dots and create an explanation, or others may call you paranoid for linking all the most radical dots together.

I disagree though, because I think there are no mere coincidences. Things dun just happen like that. Coincidences to me are messages from fate herself, to guide us to what is to come. I mean I am no psychic so I can't possibly see so far ahead... But I wonder you know... I wonder with a curious heart and a paranoid mind what I am to be subjected to. What trial of fire? Or maybe by fire be purged.

On an entirely different issue. I am so vexed by myself. Why am I so insecure as always. Why is it that I question what other people feel about me. I ask myself if I am a really horrible person because me holding that feeling does not dictate that the other have to feel the same. This is selfish and I don't want to be =/ I mean is it wrong to hope? =X Because I hope for that outcome too... And if that is wrong then I am really condemned as a sinner.

I wonder if the other party can feel my sincerity and genuine care. It seems unusual for a guy I know... I can't use the excuse that I am learning I know... So I guess I'll say this is me =X This is what I am; cannot change that part of myself; but maybe hoping to become someone else. I wonder in days to come if I can see more signs of feelings. I wish to be an empath or even telepath, but that is sadly impossible.

Deep down... I wish it were true... But I also know it could all just be a fantasy... But whatever it is... I will retain myself and feel the same no matter what happens. That is what I'll strive to achieve from now onwards. To continue with that much sincerity and genuity until that day comes when it becomes no longer... ... ... ...