The whole week had been like a rollercoaster inside camp. Having plunged down to the deepest part of hell and then floating back up to the surface. But it is when you are at your most down moment do you find yourself so helpless and also feel so much pity for yourself-A bleeding heart that even after the bleeding stops still is ridden with scars and wounds.
I lost myself =/ I blamed myself =/ I find myself not worthy of people =/ And when I feel like saying things out, I feel the guilt of it all that whether whatever I say will actually affect the mood of the people around me. It's a pain to consider so much, when tears are already welling behind those big eyes... The reservoir just gets bigger and bigger until it bursts out in one big explosion of emotions.
At the end of it all... I mean I feel better. But I also realise that people around me care about whatever happens to me. That even though I'm such a failure and all, people still accept me for my short-comings and for that I am really so touched and glad. Because at night when I feel the chill of loneliness creep up on me, I have someone there to keep me company and talk about nonsense and emo stuff...
For once in my whole course life, I finally feel less lonely... And I really want to thank this new good friend of mine who is always there for me when I need him. He is the best friend I've ever had in my NS life so far. Thanks a lot... I really mean it =)
No comments:
Post a Comment