Drip. Drip. Drop. I stand alone beneath a dark gloomy cloud. An unending rain that had dished out cats and dogs since it first came about. Bringing hurt and seeding negativity in my heart and mind every single day. I'm so tired... Drenched and soaked. My eyes hurt and so is my confidence. A shining hope dulls ahead and I soon come to realize how dark reality can be. No one can understand me; No one can help me... I yearn for miracles only to find that miracles only exist in fairy tales =/ People ask me why I had to torture myself like this. He is after all just a friend. Or he is just a guy. Who cares?
I have come to realize that whatever I explain will be of no use. Because neither he nor other people will believe me too. I thought my friends would trust me but I guess I can't blame them. I whisper silent cries every single second... Because under my seemingly okay face, hides a bleeding heart and face drenched in warm and bitter tears.
Drip. Drip. Drop. When will my world see sunshine again? I dun want to cry anymore... or feel so awful... This never ending rain... I look tirelessly sky bound for a patch of blue sky in the flurry of scudding dark clouds overhead ='//
I told someone: I don't think. I know I'm not gay. But so what if I said this... would anyone believe me? Because if people believed me would they even require an explanation? Words are cheap and so is dignity. But by being myself I destroyed a best friendship. The answer to them was... Yes I am reacting a lot to JUST a friend and yes the friend is a guy. But to me... he was the first male friend I had who I really felt was a best friend to me... and that is why his friendship was so important... and also why... I can't stop the drip.drip.drop... The rain that when will end... ... ?
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