Colouring Pages

The way we see the world is just like going through a colouring book. I used to adore those when I was young. I would pester my mum to buy them for me and I would spend endless hours just colouring the pages of the colouring book. To me at that time, the white patches held infinite possibilities. The sky could be orange and the sea a brilliant scarlet~~~

Times changed though...

Our hearts and minds were like those colouring pages back then. When we were still young everything we saw were in black and white. We formed our own colouring pages of the world. We experience things and we feel things... Eventually our eyes widened and so did the weight of reality lay heavily on our backs. We coloured our own lives based on what we think was right; we coloured our own world from the inside which decided how we would lead ourselves...

But we always knew deep down in our hearts. The sky is never orange, pink or scarlet but blue. We have something called science to back that up and we can be ignorant and adamant that the sky is orange, but that will only make me a nutcase... I have come to realize now that I can't resist the flow of things. I can't change the ebbs of time; I can't weave something different into reality as things are already cast into stone...

I only wonder why I really wanted to be something different and do things against the World. I should fucking just conform as others have too... I don't want to be so weak =/ Because this World don't accept weaklings... =X Evolution would have us dictate the survival of the fittest. People have told me to not say needless things and for a moment I was shocked and hurt, but I soon come back to reality and tell myself... that's life. That no one cares about you... because everyone should be caring about themselves...

I ventured down a road of pain only to find myself lost and wandered back to the threshold where it all started. 5 months of my life passed and then we met and things suddenly seemed no different from then. I could forget everything and treat it as those 5 months were a dream I yearned for and hoped to have... Perhaps that would be better for you as it will be for myself =//

I do feel left out and alone, drenched in the rain... Because sometimes I wished hard for the bad things that happened to return just so I can have the good too... ... stubbornly ignorant... ... I know T.T