It was a pretty chilly day today. Quite surprising since the weather nowadays has been really hot and humid. I was greeted by a beautiful light shower when I woke up this morning- Secretly cheering that it was a wet morning so that I did not have to trudge to the toilet and prepare myself for my morning jogs to keep fit. As I stared out into the sky of grey from my window and observe those tiny raindrops go splat on my window sill I couldn't help but enjoy the melody of the sound of raindrops falling all over the place. Perhaps not as grand and spectacular as a concert but a fine tune alike a symphony of simple things that we hardly take notice of as we rush through each and every single day.
It struck me as I was preparing for my day that a burden weighed heavily on my heart. How sad it was to know the things that make you sad. How lonely is it to feel a sting but yet be unable to tall anyone about it.
I recalled a day identical to this. A day when the sky was grey and the heavens were mourning. How the atmosphere mirrored my inner world and how melancholy glazed my heart and mind. To a friend once lost and who never came back... I recalled with vivid colours yet like a film without sound.
Why is it so difficult to maintain the bonds that we make between people? Why is it that it is so hard just to be friends. Let's not even talk about lovers. I may not have tasted the honey of sweet romance but I've savoured the nourishment of philio... A love born from the depths of one's heart to care for another. These are the people we love as friends and as family alike.
But at the end of the day as I lay to rest. I weep at my limited capacity as one so human. It was never possible to be friends with everyone forever. Whenever new ones come, the old had to be let go. How else can we keep our attention to so many? How despaired am I to be of knowledge of this fact =(
But I cherish each and moment spent right now in uni. Though it was the one thing I never said. Uni life was only good because of the people I met and the links that intricately link you and I and I and you. Even though people would probably laugh at my naivity or my childishness.... I hold on to the hope that in here I will find a best friend.
A wish long made and which came to pass as a nightmarish torment and agony. I wished upon the stars in the sky and the powers of this Earth... Please grant me my one special wish so that I may free myself from my ghost of the past...
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