What happens when things start to degenerate one day. We admire the ugly caterpillar metamorphosis into a glamorous butterfly. Watch the boring looking cocoon break open and then a pair of tender but vibrant wings slowly expand and strengthen. With a few flits and waves and very soon we have a beautiful rainbow flying around in the flower patch. What happens though when we have to go through a reverse? The proud butterfly sheds its wings and crawls back into its shameful cocoon and eventually moving around like a disgusting little worm...
We all grow old one day. As we progress and progress. In everything that we do we all know there is a peak but also a fall. Things just don't climb exponentially forever. What goes up must come down... I wonder how I would feel when I grow old one day and my body gradually starts to fail... How I'll start to forget the things important to me. Worse... I won't even know all these things that I have lost simply because I forget them...
But truly... how do you forget things when you are not growing old? Is it not painful to have to slowly let go of things and pray for yourself to forget them just so that you can move on... But at the price of brainwashing yourself that something important to you is no longer important. Do we have restless nights or empty moments when we just felt like crying... Wake up at precisely the same time every night and feel so empty but desperately trying to fall back to sleep again...
Some beautiful dreams we wish we stayed alive in them forever, never to wake up and be slapped in the face by reality. While in some nightmares we died... and realized dying is not as bad as we thought it was. The World will always keep on revolving... no one is indispensable even though everyone is special in their own way. But what constitutes to really living? that separates what living like a dead man is from living like a human being that wants to BE, BElong, BEget, BEcome and BElieve...
People believed in me when I did not dared believed in myself. These people have never known me for long but they believe me just because they believe I am better than that...
So things continue to progress... and everyday I find myself learning... I find myself hurt and sad but at the same time touched... That I am not so insignificant after all... not as worthless as I thought I were... to know that my existent made some difference; though small... I cried knowing that people believed I would get up even before I fell down. When I fell down, I did not feel like getting up but they still believed...
Even if the whole world can't hear me... Even if no one believed me... Even if people do not acknowledge how I feel... I will continue feeling... until the end of this progression is such that I forget too... and brainwash myself... after my dream is dead and my hopes dashed... that I live life totally forgetting what I lost...
drip. drip. drop
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