The Ugly Duckling

We all have our own ugly duckling story sometime in our lives. Well at least I daresay that that is true for most of the people. We had a hard time breaking out of our shells when we were all very young. It is every farmer's knowledge that you cannot help a hatchling get out of it's shell because if you do the duckling will not be able to get used to the temperature outside and the atmosphere so suddenly and hence there will be a high risk of death. It is because of that that they have to make their way through their egg shells slowly but so tenaciously... slowly clawing and delicately pecking at the cracks and forcing their tiny warm bodies out of the cracks.

We all did the same as we grew up. Always trying hard in the initial stages to break out of our own shells and to lower our walls so that the people around us could get close to us. The distance of the heart between people gradually lessen and we started to discover ourselves through the people that we held dear and taught us how to be the people of society... It was no easy task to discover who we were... but as we slowly came out of our shells... It was like a duckling that pushed and pushed to emerge into the world~~ crack... crack... crack...

When we emerged and had our fundamental identities we then realized how different we were from others out there. We sometimes wished we could be more like others just so that we could fit in and be part of a group or family or clique... then at least we wouldn't had felt so left out... At least when we were sad there will be people around us to affirm our feelings and lend their supporting shoulders just to have a good cry. It was never really about seeking a solution or about seeking help - It was about finding a firm and unwavering shoulder that stems from loyalty and dependability that one can have on someone just to have a good cry and feel better afterward.

Like the ugly duckling I found myself lost in this world of myriad colours. While those of a colour flock together... I see a rainbow streaming behind them and a vibrancy that seemed to be inadequate if I added my own colour to that which was already so beautiful and perfect. But I watched from a distance always just admiring the beauty of it... wondering if one day I too could find a place where I could feel perfectly safe and no more left out... 

In the story of the ugly duckling the ugly duckling was loved by no one else but his mother. Even though he looked so ugly his mother stilled loved him very very much. When people started talking bad of him, his mother helped to defend him with all her heart. But the ugly duckling couldn't take it anymore... and so he ran away one autumn day because he just didn't feel like he belonged and because he did not want his mother to be having such a hard time because of him...

I sought refuge from place to place, hoping to find a place of my own... ...

Through the cold winter I ask myself if I could ever turn out like the ugly duckling in the story... That one fine day... when the night is the darkest and the coldest that I'll wake up to find myself a swan~ and finally have a place to belong... ...

I don't want to feel left out anymore~~