There isn't much sand in the hour glass. Watch the golden grains fall gracefully from the bottleneck in its fragile container, and we ask ourselves what we've made of our time so far? Do we ebb away as time goes by? For merciless time waits for no one.
We all pondered over decisions sometime in our lives and hoped that time would freeze before we made up our minds. Like a cogwheel of fate we could never stop moving. For even if I halted, the people around me continued to run and I soon find myself moving. But when I moved on from whence I paused... A wave of melancholy hits me and I become ambivalent. For perhaps I could have... Perhaps I should had...
We all have our stories to tell in this city of chatter and drama. Sometimes... circumstance forces us to make decisions we hate ourselves for but we thought to ourselves: It is for the best. But why is it that every night our decisions still haunt us like a vengeful ghost that refuses to fade? We hardened our hearts when we cast that final vote in our subconscious: A tipping of the scales to favor the other. We gave up our souls for the practical and we remorse from the loss of our sacrifices. What did we give up to be here right now? For in this storybook of alternative endings we can never help but wonder what time would have brought us there and then when we chose our pathways...
Do you regret? For time is a cruel mistress... It renders our soul when we think of the past and so we ran and ran just so that we could never look back anymore. With a tear in the eye and a sting of the nose, we told ourselves to be stronger to brave the World out there. Did we thus grow up as we escaped from reality? Or are we still children, perhaps just wanting to look stronger. Verily no one can ever run faster than one who runs forward, when we all just choose to run away.
And as we brave the vast ocean before us and plunge in to the ocean of blue. We struggle to stay afloat and we venture beyond our shores to our own ideal paradise. We try so hard to reach our destinations and we expended all we can just to reach there faster. We told ourselves in our hearts: That everything will finally make sense once we reach there and we no longer needed to swim anymore. For that moment our wills strengthened-- Like an iron pillar of strength. We shall not be moved~~
But don't just rush to go forward and forget to look back. For as we swim forward we need to ask ourselves if we ever did moved as much as we thought we did? For the sea is different from the swimming pool we have so accustomed ourselves to. Do not forget the current and the waves.
I'm so tired of never looking back. I'm human after all ain't I? But was it truly the best decision to keep my eyes focused on the prize or was it just because I dared not look back, fearing that the truth was I never did moved away from the shore from whence I came. To whither am I going I asked myself deep inside. For the destination I had in mind was never what I really wanted. But I deceived my body to move when the truth was that I could never ever lie to myself for even a second. Only distracted...
And so I recited my terrible tale to others and despaired as I see the glittering sand slide through my shaky hands... There's suffering in my past as much as there is for others. But it made me stronger and that much kinder. It made me realize how weak I was and thus be humbled. For when I look into the eyes of others I see myself and take pity and envy.
So the golden sands of time continue to flow. In this rat race that I live in now. Who can wait for me when I couldn't even wait for myself? But hope never dies-- It never does. For where there is dismay there too be hope. Working hand in hand inside me. Am I on the right path now? That I'll never ever know. But with this glimmer of hope I continue to move on. Loving the occasional blessings that come my way: Friends and laughter and such~~
I dreamed of a desert filled with sand. It was so golden and so rich like I've never seen before. For in that fantasy time was aplenty. And I drowned myself inside the sands of time which was always fleeting but never mine... ...
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