Saturday, March 3, 2012

Crown For Your Prince?

I feel really sad and hurt... =/// Because of so many small things coming together and happening that is making me realize a lot of things... I hate my own title... Because it is making me lose so much... Like grapes on a tall vine that I can never reach~~~ But I also wonder if I hadn't been given the title if I could still have such good memories and met such people...

K said it was all so weird like why I would want to be this way. Why is it that every time I would die die want to go down? What's the purpose of it all? K couldn't understand why I had to be this way. Why can't I just fulfill my own duties and stay in my own tower. Truth was when I tried to explain why I realize there is indeed a mystery to it all... I could find no explanation to all his questions and they scorched my mind with burning questions about myself~~

One time there was an L, that told me about people knowing each other for short moments within hours yet I expected so much... That was a painful jab then... I wanted to hasten a process that took years into days. It was impossible when I looked at it now... It would be nice to said I had tried... But it was never something I should have tried to begin with when there were so many gaps and walls...

Z revealed a truth I never would have expected of all people... =/ It's really kind of funny though... That because of the title I can never have what I wanted... But at the same time I would never have had met these people...

I tried... I tried... Really hard from day one to be a good friend to everyone, hoping people would do the same~ All the things I did, I did for the sake of because everybody were good friends to me and I wanted what was best for all... It was not that I wanted to serve my duty well but more than that the burning passion and diligence I put in was because I treasured the people~ But in the long run... Nobody realized this... ... ... ... T.T

Can I give up the crown and start all over? Will things still be the same?

I'm really really very broken... =/

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