Return Of The Attacks From The Past

I don't understand anymore... Maybe I never did... Or never will... I can never understand why after so many chances to redeem my cursed fate, time again I have allowed the past to catch up to me and attack me where it hurts the most =/ Even though every single time I would always have started out optimistic and extremely intent on never letting history repeat itself... That's what everybody does... They try and try again... Because people always say you only truely fail when you stop trying... But right here right now... where I am, what I am today and who I am today... I'm tired... So very tired and trudging ahead like a hurt kitten. Who in this world isn't? ~~~~

Do something stupid and you can blame yourself your entire life for what could have been. Always was easier telling people to cheer up; but where it hurts the most... You can never muster a smile... Even if you did it would be with teary eyes =X My eyes are blurry from all the attacks from the past... coming back to haunt me like a ghost... I wander aimlessly... Wailing silent cries for help... hoping people will hear. In a big busy city... where everybody is always moving... is there anyone there to come tell me that things will be alright? haha... I'm weak... Because where I fall I refuse to stand up... at least for a time...

Cracks in glass... an irreversible fault. Only solution would be to replace it with something new... Who would care one bit for something broken... When there is something new and perfect out there... And who cared for that broken piece that stood there for you when it was truely beautiful at one time... It was at one time... ... When promises and words were said... Words that gave light in the darkness of the void; Words of hope for an alternate future... But in the long run... When things had to come to end... There seem to be no point to raise the past to say that these words were once said...

People change... And it is never anybody's fault... No one could have foreseen what would have happened next. Casualties were abound... Much like myself waddling in a pool of my own blood and tears... ... Least I could do is to fade away like a distant star... ... instead of people avoiding me... I'll save them that much the trouble... ... T.T

The saddest moment in time... for 2012. So far... was today... ... =//////////