Like water I always moved along with the flow. In whatever container I sought to fill up, I followed the shape and never did otherwise. Where the collective droplets coalesce into a stream that moves steadily over the lands as runoff... I followed suite. And then we all joined the huge river that flowed in one large passive movement thinking that our sheer force was enough to make anything right. I prided myself upon the fact that I was fluid and adaptable... Being as fluid as water itself: Intangible yet at the same time tangible. But I do so no longer~~
I think the most important question that we need to ask ourselves today is the question of who we really are? Who we really are as in what exactly defines us and makes us uniquely ourselves? For I tell you the truth, there can be no two people that are identical on this planet. Even twins with the same DNA composition take up their own paths and assume their own uncharacteristic personas. Let me tell you all a story:
When I was very young I always enjoyed my friends a lot. Where ever they went I followed behind. At the end of primary school I went to Fuhua secondary school even though my dream school had always been River Valley. But the fact that I didn't want to lose a close friend of mine made me abandon that idea and go to a neighbourhood school instead. I figured that we would be friends forever and that we would be there for each other. But sadly... that friend and me went separate ways after 2 years... At the end of secondary school... I again chose to go to JJC because of my friends. The truth was that I really wanted to try my hand at going to HCI or RJC... But I once again had the idea of friends forever. Even though I always did wondered how life would have turned out, I treasured the bonds that were kept until this day.
I realized at this point in my life that I had never ever taken a stance on my position. Who am I exactly I ask myself... What defines me? Because I have come to realize that I can never survive this World without having my own stand. I can't stay neutral forever and be a passive follower. I need to have my own voice in this cacophony of noises... Otherwise I will surely be killed by the voices every single day. But MOST importantly, how would I even know what is happiness to me if I didn't even know who I was and what I wanted? Even if happiness knocked on my door I would have turned him away~
But accepting yourself is so difficult. It is difficult because we don't love ourselves. It is a challenge because of society and its pressures. If we lived in World that had no one else on it there wouldn't have been a 'right' or 'wrong'. Because then... everything you did would not affect others. But we simply can't just do whatever we wanted can we? Because we know that when we do certain things we would be judged; because we know that if we become certain stereotypes we would be stigmatized. But precisely what is wrong with being ourselves? I can never see any wrong to that...
If we call ourselves wrong for being quirky and weird then I feel that there is no disease in that person to begin with. Perhaps the disease IS society itself. Even though I may not truly believe in god, I believe that everyone exists with the right to pursue their own happiness. No matter what they are and who they are... I love everyone simply because they are just humans trying to find their own happiness! How can that ever be wrong?
LOVE YOURSELF... Because before you can love others or expect others to love you... you have to know who you are and embrace that self of yours. And it is only after you accept yourself for who you are can you then start living... Living never for the sake of others but living in order to search for the happiness that you have come to realize is of that much value to you...
Let us no longer give in to societal pressures for it is the cancer of this century. Let us not be self-righteous and actually naively believe that being part of the river of the many droplets of water is an unstoppable force that we have to conform to. We all have a choice to stand up for ourselves or to hide among the voices of others just so we can feel safe from prejudice and becoming the 'bane' of society.
There ARE and WILL be people that will accept you for who you are and those are the people you can always count on. But what is most important is that your happiness matters more than anything else in this world.
So I constantly have to remind myself now... that even though I may be still discovering who I am I also need not be so fearful. Because I need to love myself and know that the people I care about will support me through and through. And whatever happens... things will always be alright somehow~
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