When things are just right in front of you... when things are just there to grasp... when things seem so easy and effortless... when things are beyond your control... They are in fact killing you from the inside...
Reaching breaking point... as i stare and stare, wishing so hard yet surpressing myself harder... that feeling in you that so wants to struggle to come out... much like the phoenix force which I have been so obsessed about recently in X-men... That immense power that is pushing against mental barriers... To do what is right and do what is wrong... to stop yourself from doing things that inside so desires so fanatically... U stop and dun fight... I query though... when we stop... are we weak becuz we cannot do it? or is it we are strong enough not to do it?
Howling in my heart and mind... a light hearted sleep... I wonder how long i shall endure this torment that is eating into me and affecting my thoughts so much... Feel like releasing that pent up emotions at something yet sadly... i can't... I must control it... MASTER it! But it's so getting harder all the time... I watch with eyes ablaze with that one moment of heart turn to steel i resisted and pressed that button... I know no one knows what i am talking about... but everytime i just wanna say it really takes out a lot out of me...
When things are to be changed... not for u but for something u want... won't u try your bestest? when coersion leads to yourself growing... when looking into the past will help u discover what is to be corrected... perhaps history will provide some insights... perhaps some background too... controlling that ever stockpiling energy inside me... surpressing like there's no tomorrow... I must control it... and one day i know it will pay off... I must be strong as iron, hard as diamond so that i can achieve that dream...
Holidays seem to be flying fast... everyone nowadays seems to be posting blog entries about nostalgia... is it almost time to say goodbye to everyone? =( nostalgia in rhapsodies of a lost memory... ... ... ... I remember so well... the memories...
Feels like dying now... perhaps i should go sleep... so i can stop controlling... but until then in my sleep and when i am awake a battle wages inside me... to surpress that part of myself... That desrie so radiant like the glorious sun (the picture is that of the sun btw for thos who still dunno)... ... T.T
brothers? brother where are u? i miss u so much i cry every night yea... ...
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