Jinxed and Silly

This post today not the same as always... It shall be a post to myself... A post that I scold myself yea... ...

Don't you realise how much trouble you caused everyone around you? and now you are telling yourself... you don't know what to do now? So now what? bug more people and rant about your problems when FYI everyone around you already have their own problems just they keep mum about it... Just STOP being so dependent and immature... Fall and fall again and never get up... Perhaps you are just not making the effort and blaming other factors for your own doing. YES I admit that making excuses and reasons for not doing something or what is conveneient and that is what most people do...

A jinx... Looking back now I do feel so very much... And with every word I read I feel reaapearing scars and replaying annecdotes... I am confused now about feelings... I thought so... But is it? Or was it it was just an excuse and all from the start... Maybe there was nothing... Maybe I was too imaginative and under intense pressure I just had to come up with a reason to hide the fact that I am truely horrible? If only I had a gift to help people and not harm people around me... If only good things come and never go... Becuz fate just keeps making me happy one moment but the next is followed but the most terrible news...

I lied to myself... swearing isolation and immolation of the memory... But I peeked and got burnt on the embers... And I just wanted to say to myself you know... YOU STUPID PATHETIC DUMB DUMB... Cry over silly things SILLY YOU and SILLY INTERPRETATIONS... Just when you never shed a tear since the last incident you had to break that today... Just when you promise you break them... Just as controlling you failed... And just as failure you are is to be a good friend and scare people away...

Impending doom in just two days... And here you are blogging away... GET A LIFE! Or even better have no life then... JUST make sure you give people their lives... you want to no life just no life alone dun ask people for help... You wanna lonely is your problem... You want to turn back is your own desire which is by the way UNACCOMPLISHABLE!!! Bang your head into the wall or something... Just WAKE UP WILL YOU!!! Wake up from all your dreams that are nonsensical and silly... Wake up from the dreams of brothers and the good times together! Wake up from the fact you are now wasting precious time scolding yourself when all this should be happening in your mind and NOT TYPING IT HERE!!! GOSH!!! I am ashamed of myself...

You ought to be ashamed when you said so quickly out of rashness that you were going to go and change and get a makeover and all... You can lie and people forgive you... BUT can you forgive yourself or not? Can you not feel that passion last time when u said that? why is it always let's start tommorow BUT never let's start here and now... Why is it you are so indecisive and never letting go... Why are you severing ties but hoping to get back together again... Why do you still have the cheek and the face to appear in the life of someone you ruined again... And worst ask if we can be friends again? After all those things you did... NOW you wanna ruin someone's life all over again when maybe they are finally liberated from your torment...

You are sick becuz u dunno what is it is with your heart... You damn fucking asshole... You jerk who only make people think of a certain image becuz u paint it that way through your powerful words... Propaganda yea? well STOP IT!!! Unintentionally is an EXCUSE AGAIN!!! HELLO THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY!!! HELLO HELLO!!!! It is the time of change... SO CHANGE YOU SISSY!!!

Don't say for others... becuz you know what other dun care a freaking deal about your life... they already have their own life to care about... Yea cold... I know... But this is reality you moron so open your eyes and take it all in... Dun abuse yourself and worse dun abuse those around you by abusing yourself... Keep mum and always silent... Try to solve things YOURSELF... And please please stop being such a drag and complain and moan about everything that you are going to fail... Are u a MAN or not? If you are a man fail and fail again who cares ulitmately whether you fail now does not affect you in the future... Mutually exclusive yea? DUMB IDIOT... claim you good at math yet you associate present and past as a subset of the future...

You are a pig and so fat by the way... Gosh you are ugly too... just people are not willing to say it out... dun be so conceited when you scold yourself... Look into the mirror and ask yourself are you right? RIGHT? ALRIGHT? ALRIGHT? Looks may not be everything... sure brains is what is something just... looks is everything else... in a society that is so fast paced people take one look at you and judge you... justify? nah... you think they care? HEck la you... bunch of bullshit... It's no wonder you jinx people... you JINX yourself...

You are truely shameless becuz you want to be friends with the person whom you ruined the life of... you are inconsiderate and irresponsible... You are what? a sight for sore eyes... and you still can ignore that and treat it as the other party wants to too... yea right? who would... and then you now complaining to the whole world about this... ZIP IT HOMO!!!!

You know what's your problem... ... You're FAT, UGLY, SILLY, CALLOUS, INCONSIDERATE, MANIPULATIVE, DEPENDENT, SISSY and DEFENSIVE... Seriously, dun be a life wrecker and just shoo... Just die off if you want la... for the love of god... if you dun have a life just go die... Hundreds and thousands of people die daily... so what makes u so special? It's not like someone dies and there is global mourning... People can say everyone is unique... but unique is not a show that u are important... and really... u are insignificant and just nothing... for those that care... yes they will mourn and grive but after that... what happens? life goes on and u gone. If you dun have a life... really la go jump off the building la or something... dun ruin people's lives and say things you dun mean... dun be a parasite for the people you love when you yourself have no life... U FREAK la bastard... and that may just as well be... DRY!!!