Wraith of the present

Times just slip through our fingers like the fine grains of sand... Those tiny bits of memories that we cherish so much... those smitherines of a broken heart from the downside of reality... those tiny clouds when we were in heavean and wished we stayed there... Unfortunately... Life is an hourglass glued to a table... It is at moments of the future when we look back do we see ourselves in black and white... when bad things or good things undifferentiable and emotions integrated... Do we realise how much we hope things could turn back and the sands of time go backflow... ...

When the times are lost we regret... Those sad moments... those happy moments... You truely loved them all... Becuz when u were in those downs of life how much you hate them and wanna escape and hide forever... you will only realise now and perhaps laugh at your own folly or even feel the sense of glee that the obstacle is over and you my dear stronger...

I have been plagued and afflicted... I use these terms loosely... by all these memroies that seem to erupt from every corner of my mind and every crevice of my unexplored sub-concious... See those places around you... and sense that deja vu or see your own mini movie that goes playback in your mind like a film without sound... That split second of silence in your mind and perhaps smile to yourself and mourn the past has ended... ...

When sleeping had became light and dreams ever heavy... When waking up dreads you when those dreams were illusions of innate desire and doors to doubts and motivations... When all seems so surreal it thins the line between reality and fantsay and you truely believe... it vanishes like that... never to last... only to taste...

To vanquish that inner demon in you... To open doors to new dimensions and to move on to the present... I see shadows of the past... To forget I dun forget... yet to forget i wish i forgot... The process of erasing ever so desire forgetfulness...

To seal off a part of you in a box locked far far away... In the darkest part of your imagination... A part of you that is really you and so eagerly wants to get out... I just wonder so much if to accept your being means to change yourself for the better... When you don't want something to happen so much becuz it is WRONG... yet you enjoy it... ... A wraith that exists in your darkest and most secret mind...

If there was a choice... I choose to believe there was one to begin with...