WAR!!!

I am here to declare war on my fats. zzzzz When i look at my facebook pictures my eyes burn. LITERALLY burn up like paper in a stove. I look so fat for god's sake. =.= I seriously I ask myself why and why a thousand times how I ended myself up in the same plight that was inflicted upon me a few years ago. I swore to god then that this horrible disease by fire it be PURGED. yet today... I find myself in yet another familiar scenario. Feeling my own fats in my body is probably the worst thing that I can ever feel. It's as deadly as feeling a tumour on your body each and every single day. And it is just as toxic to the mind and self-esteem as with that of bullimia and depression. Oh my god horrible horrible disease to mankind. Selfish now I am... But why can't god just make our bodies excrete out the excess fats so that we may live a more happy and joyful life... arghhh.... the rigours of living and the pain of reality.

How now brown cow???? I am dead jealous of the obscenely thin and people with blackholes for stomachs. Feel like taking a knife and cutting out all the adipose so that I may free myself from my prison-like body. Sometimes even feel like drinking dettol so that some sort of hydrolysis reaction may hydrolyse away all my fats. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sanity is in short supply in my head when the topic of the fats comes to my head. Like a mongoose and snake. We're sworn enemies, enemies to the blood and of the soul. With what sanity I have i hate. With all in me i try to expel. It's like fighting a demon that takes over you every single day.

The horror. THE HORROR. The curse is back. and there is only one way to eliminate this awful curse. To have a fairytale ever after and to rid my world of all that is purely evil. Where thou art thou the miracle to my problems and the god to my rescue in the darkest of hours. The deadly impacts of obesity on the mind. It pains me to no end to see myself as well as the other accursed ones afflicted by this terrible curse. I used to be such a quiet and shy kid. But when i finally said bye bye to the fast one day i opened up like a butterfly from a chrysalis. And today I find myself caccooned up slowly again by that nuiance of a substance. The bane of this world. The terrorist to my social life.

Oh no... Now how now brown cow? Tell me how? I wanna declare war again. And this time NVR EVER NVR EVER am I going to fall into the honey trap of this evil spirit again. Never ever do i want to put myself through weightloss programmes becuz they are a living hell to speak off. These are the true evils of the world today. More serious than the terrorists, more serious than the many deadly viruses. Maybe less than the apocalypse. But still a BIG problem. ARGHHH I HATE U!!! NEVER HATED SOMETHING SO MUCH!!! Becuz u are a wrecker of human lives. My LIFE namely!!!!

Minutes to the DAY

It's a long long time since I posted something in this dying place. Been super busy with teaching which I find is so stressful that I may just end up getting depression if I stay on in this career track. Hence probably I'm going to take teaching out even though my mentors say I am very good at the job.

SO SO SO TOMORROW IS THE BIG BIG DAY =X Been vomitting in the morning since two days ago. Nagging on the phone and all. Seriously I'm spooked at the outcome yet curious to know. But I am fully clear about the chances of an accident. I actually have a very smart cousin from NJC who usually got A for everything. But when she got her A level results last year, she actually got all As EXCEPT a BIG UGLY D for GP. *GASP* >.<

I can literally imagine myself in the picture. One small mistake and its out of the game. The game to be the top scholar of JJC. Getting PW A alone was a miracle. I start to wonder if god would send me yet another miracle. Because all those times i bothered Ms Huang with consultations at ulu hours like 6pm makes me super guilty if I did not manage to clinch an A for GP. Sorry ah Ms Huang =/ If tmr I dun get an A for GP. I really will feel very bad and won't dare to see you ever again. =X

Alright... writing all these make me wanna vomit again. SERIOUSLY. SO I'll stop. I still have to go MI to teach in the morning!!! sian zzzzz Wah seriously going to puke liao =.=''' BYEEEEEEE