Sorry

Lots of things unsaid... People say somethings are better left unsaid... But I feel maybe this is not right... I have so much things to tell so many people. So many words, so many hellos, so many goodbyes, so many... sorries... ... What have I ever done wrong in my life? Plenty a times I had. To err is to human I guess...

I want to repent, but what can I do? A debt so great, how should I start repaying them? Have I tried to? I asked myself... maybe I did... maybe I didn't? or maybe it was just a feeble attempt. What is a friend? A friend is someone who sees you do something wrong, points it out and scolds u, yet tell u it is okay and still fight for u and support u to change for the better. So many sorries to them... I have... so many things I wanna say... Yet can't really find the right words to tell u guys one by one... I'm sorry...

So many times missed... The lost golden times like a faded age of an analogue antique watch. An irony of all ironies... How can time age? quaint isn't it? but it's not funny at all... ... just so sad... ...

I miss all the times we had together... Really do miss them like hell... I didn't know how to treasure the times when i had them. The smiles we had they were genuine and from the heart. I was happy. They were the highlights of my life. Feel so nostalgic suddenly... It's as if an ominous wind just swept past... Cherish the past move to the present! That's what people will say... But one can't help looking back into the pastI guess... so many what ifs that we could have done... so many sins would have been prevented from being commited...

I love you guys so much... thanks for being there for me when I am in trouble... sorry I was so dumb and dimwitted when I am supposed to be a scholar... I guess I was lost yea... Dun need any bright future... just I need someone to tell me how to go from here... Love you guys so much my frens...

Rmb the chemistry project we did in secondary school khairiyah? It was so damn fun! When there was not so much stress in secondary school. When we had the time to focus on frenships too... Had so much fun being all dramatic and all and doing each and every presentation... Bet u must have been like always shock to hear my CRAZY ideas each time LOLX. Rmbed u once hugged the table so hard becuz U dun dare to go up and act the skit and I had to pull u while u still hugging the table haha!Reminiscence... ...

The Arabian Mobsters!!! LOLX Chalie's Angels! Still rmb? haha

(ZM-Charlie , PeiTing-Flirtatious Angel, Tania- Intellectual Angel, Khairiah- Hot sexy divaish Angel and Xincheng- actually I aslo dunno who LOLX!!!)

Friends go and friends come... People come and people leave... I only want the come and never the leave... Dun leave me plz... T.T Can't we just always be like the old times so happy and be there for each other? I won't forget... I won't ever forget... the story of how I met each fren i ever had... And tell the tale of each one to every new fren i meet... I won't forget... ... I promise!

Sorry... The word that decimates pride and builds strata sometimes... It is hard to say it out and really mean it... What's wrong man? The guilt that stockpiles... and cumulates like an exponential curve with no boundary... I have so many sorries... so little time... I guess I will start saying it to many... heart weakened already from two sorries... many more to go... I hope... with sincerity... all will be forgiven... For what more an eternal sentence when the best way of redeeming is to continue and to salvage what is left... sorry...

Dusk Before Dawn

After months of rest, I finally make a new blog. Confessions of a Teenage Drama King, that's what I am... seeing life in different colours I exist to amuse. I exist to excite. But at the end of the day my friend... I ask myself... a facade what for? Just to make people laugh and I myself not laugh.

Fate is so unfair... Time is something which we cannot turn back nor can we buy. If I could deduct my life from the end by ten years, I will gladly exchange that for just one year of time now... why is it that whenever you realise the right way to do things... reality just sets in. A Real Life Fairytale doesn't exist... It is so damn oxymoronic... for when has there ever been a happy ending in reality... Disaster just seems to come in every direction after one seemingly resolved conflict or problem. Life's like that! (A fake happiness perhaps? But I dun wanna be a fool... as much as people say the happiest people are fools... =( )

What is to treasure time? Why is it that when I finally want to do things the right way... it turns out like that. It always takes two hands to clap in a relation between 2. And the saddest thing you will ever hear I guess in every kind of relationship is... 'Can you dun be so serious'. So is this all fun and games? I dunno... but just sad to hear especially if you treasure a relationship a lot... So much bottled up in me... I feel like exploding. Seemingly happy smiles in school metamorphosize into tears and sadness at home in the security of my blanket and room.

Why does the sun have to set everyday... dusk before dawn... or should it be dawn before dusk? Either way things are the same... a cycle of sun movement anyhows... but ultimately what we know is that... The sun will always set... No happiness lasts... It will always come to an end... The fear of the end... my greatest fear...

Fear that subconciously affect you without your knowledge. A toxic that spreads through the veins. Yet remains latent like a viral particle undergoing progenesis... That fear drives me to feel that time is on the essense. I dun want this to be the end. I am sorry for all that I have ever done wrong... Won't you plz give me a chance to try again... Seeing a bond break... that's the saddest torment one can have. It is a blackhole that attacks from the inside. Seemingly nothing on the outside... but whirpools on the inside...

I wish with the purest of hearts... a simple wish... a nice ending... There always was this saying...

Some people say that action is going,

Some people say that going is action,

Get going now...

Or your action will be leaving...

I hope that we will go somewhere now... or something will be leaving... Always rememeber that an angry person... why do we call them an upset person too? because an angry person is also a sad person... When all that fury receeds one will only feel the folly of rashness all attributed to the puppet strings of emotional waves that is actually sadness as the root... Tears stream down... my eyes are dry... I see the dusk... so beautiful dusk... the beautiful memories... I wish it will be dawn soon again... ... Never ever so scared of night before...