Death To the Undying

A few days have passed by... as quickly as it came... as quickly as it had gone... I wonder if... memories still hold? or would feelings still hold? As I still carry with me the grief of the death of the undying dream... A hole deeply inscribed into my heart it persists and prevails. As I distract myself with mortal desires, every night I feel like saying that one magic word... XXXX.

Something seems so not right... Something feels so weird... And I ask myself... If I am sad or anything? But it's not that I'm sad... it's something else entirely... I view the world with an empty heart... so envious of things around me... I feel rather dejected of myself... I wonder... if... it's the end... Feel a tear in the eye? I wanted a taste of what it was like to... ... ... ...

but in the end it was bitter sweet... perhaps more bitter than sweet... If time travel was possible... There are so many things i wanna change in the past... But as I get lucid and see myself... I tell myself off for ridiculous notions.

It's kinda sad really... ... That things are like this... As I open my heart and decide to close it all up... It's kinda sad really... death to the undying... the undying dream a many... It's kinda sad really... the feeling of no XXXX.... It's kinda sad really... When I say XXXX I feel emptier than before...

As I try to stitch up that gapping wound... and clog it up with all the nonsense... intoxification of my heart and mind... I lost myself... Becuz I appear as such... but my heart says another...

It's kinda sad really... ... Ridiculous as it may sound to some ppl i know... I feel lonely... ... both at home... and outside... ... yea... it's sad... really... ...