KaBoom It Went

Usual Late late night post... Just the feeling comes at night I guess... Won't say I feel lonely, because this time I am afraid I might be delusional. Don't want to be abnormal, but don't want to be so normal too. This must be what everyone feels too. Wishing perhaps you are special when the cliche saying would be that: 'What makes you so special'? rebuttal. period.

When things go boom in your life, much like the 9/11 terrorist attack on the twin towers or the bombing of Nagasaki and Hiroshima during WW2, one thing always stays... The frantic response and a bewildered mind and never forgetting the sudden decimation of things held sacred. Time bombs are just everywhere so close to us... It makes life as though treading on thin ice, one small touch of those insidious landminds and... KABOOM!!!

So... what are the land mines in our lives? Those turning points in life when we make wrong decisions and reap the direct consequence. It's as if nuclear bomb when head down on you. The loss of life (temporal of course) and the bewilderment at that time so seemingly frozen somewhat. And who can forget the radiation burns after the onslaught: The remorse, guilt and regret that will haunt you for the rest of your life.

It is when we are bombarded that we reevaluate ourselves and mitigate future calamities. The challenge to the sanctity of life, be it ethinicity for u, or a love life, it really doesn't matter. Just gapping wounds of the heart, they recover and reseal scars. And it's never time that heals all wounds. Really it ain't... I would know if it did... Because you can have as much time as you want, but u can spend all of it moping and staying at that same spot-- defeats the purpose yea?

Yet sometimes, bombs set off in our spirits... The typical irritatedness and overwhelming vexness that possess us and make us go mad with anger for no reason. It is the hate we feel that cumulates and one fine day... just KABOOM! Be it mood swings, be it justice, be it fairness, be it hatred... ...

What I am trying to say is... bombs... what are they really? Not bombs of war, but bombs in our daily lives... Where are those land mines that are concealed in my path ahead... because I can't see them... And it is with not knowing that fear arises and when logic fails, religion suddenly becomes the great refuge of answers of the philosophical sort. I respect the buddha and confucius, but I'm starting to see the truth that the greatest refuge is perhaps of something even closer. Not yourself, that's the lame politically correct answer lol... but rather your friends...

There are so many occasions when bombs go KABOOM in myself and I wish so direly to talk to someone and I thought, why? Because it is my own problem just as I know everyone thinks that. ok, so talking goes out of the list... what next? Because bombs are so devastating, all the more I should protect myself... As the clock ticks and the time bomb ticks with it.

Be it explode or dormant we cannot deny it exists, but to look away and pretend so is just plain naive. Let bombs so myriad decorate our night skies as we awe in disgust at fireworks going off here and there... though hurtful somewhere but strangely so beautiful... those crimson-yellows in the night sky...

KABOOM it went... ... KABOOM it did so long ago... KABOOM went things that once abhored... KABOOM it still flashing in my mind like it was yesterday... As KABOOM will soon happen if I procrastinate further... I'm so sick of those landmines the stupid KABOOMS =/

A song that speaks a thousand words... whose rythmn haunts my soul... With regrets or embrace I am speechless... The song and family i've been running from... ghosts...