Once In a Blue Moon

Long time since i updated... So much time has passed. Mid-Autumn festival is behind us and A levels is that much closer from today. Starting to feel that weird tingling sensation in my head as if I had gone mad... Start having these intense cravings to study. I must be going bonkers. But then again it's good sign as I slowly emerge from my 'drug addictions' and start to move on, leaving what was history behind me.

From start of the year I have been procrastinating and always finding this miracle formula to success... Debated with my GP teacher for secret techniques to smoke my way through and spending at least three quarters of my J2 life in a messy friendship and never ending drama. But haha... eating my own words now from not so long ago... I guess the search for my answers just brings me back to the point from whence i started. It's ground zero for me, while other probably somewhere above.

A nice saying I often use now. To ascend one must first hit rock bottom. I guess I must be somewhere there because I am starting to see improvement at long last. I was a crazed believer to aspire to be a renegade. as if defying laws would get me further it has only hindered me all the way. Surly as it may sound. I guess dreams are meant to truely crash and burn as I see some people's just disintegrated in a puff of smoke. Seeing anxiety in others, I also start to worry about myself and the future.

Things need to be done, and of course the never ending journey to understand myself and who I truely am. Not going to be malodrama, just going to do it the old fashion way. and that is to work hard like everyone else is. As someone told me a day before the mid-autumn festival about this legend of making a wish to the full moon would definitely come true. Many admire the moon on this night but no one actually knows that wishes come true though. Skeptical of course... But i guess the first step to success is to open to all chances. Even if it means luck willl just ensure success by one more percent.

Jovial feelings of empowerment from general paper as I start to see improvement and also I myself feel that much proer lol with more general knowledge. Alas I finally start reading content, something which i swore I would never do since J1. Problems are still frayed ends, and I guess its time to burn those ends up and get to things like a nail on the head.

My only dream now is to my obligations. and my obligations are foolhardy and naive. Because to wish for something truely meaningful. I guess I was greedy haha. Wishing to the moon that night with all my innate powers(incase I had) that I, zm, will dominate the playing field and be the best of the best in JJC and Singapore. I guess its old times again... even if knowing standing up you'll fall down... I can't face the ground forever right?

and with that one last wish before I dozed off in bed. If the moon spirit hears... I make my secret special wish... but nah... its not to get back some fren or anything... but for now... let's keep it to myself... Only time will tell... ...

Once in a blue moon, i wished upon a full moon hoping my wishes would come full bloom and soon...