A Jar of Wishes

A week of A Levels have officially passed... Got to admit though that it wasn't easy, and the fact that I feel extremely guilty that I studied so little as compared to what I did for my O levels. It's the laxing period of A levels now, and I guess this is really the time I should start thinking about some stuff which I have been putting away since long ago.

There's this strange feeling I have, Just have this super good feeling that I am going to ace all my A lvel subjects. But hmmm... imagination? =S I mean, there's no basis for me to make an accurate prediction, yet I feel so confident of myself I sound like a bag of wind zzzz All talk, no results... =/ Chem, Geog and Math I am all quite sure I am going to get an A. GP I am quite pleased this time, so that I shall leave to luck and fate to decide. But alright... I guess that's all I'm going to talk about the A levels. just hope so bad that I am going to be JJC next top scholar.
(fingers crossed >.<)

Recently I signed up for this teacher attachment programme, whose targeted audience was to the primary school kids. signed up mainly because I sort of wanted a taste in the education career path, and also because it was not a 'sure get in when u sign up thing', so tried my luck. And to my surprise MOE ppl actually called me up and asked me if I would instead like to be posted to a sec school or jc o.O so thought about it over the weekends... and now i say my answer is... I want to be posted to a jc. True, I am like about the same age as my students if like that =.= but then, JC classroom management is easier, and I like jc sub better since they are narrower but deeper, not like sec school is wider but shallower. I like deeper things -o-o-

So i guess my holiday job is roughly set. $65 dollars a day haha, sounds good and my NS starts in april so i still have lots and lots of time to earn some $$$ and build up my resume which I am actively working on now. To all my friends out there whom I haven spoken for a long time, I wish you guys all the best for a lvls. Seriously it's not how much we talk about or if we interact. And frankly I am angry with one of my friends now. But still I know they are my friends, just angry that's all...

As A lvls, draw to a close, I guess I start to see my own JC life flashed pass me. to my greatest regret was to nvr have taken H3, when i had he chance. yet in JJC, I lived part of my interesting time of my life. I found something I always wanted to look for, got heartache of the sort i nvr thought i would get, and brought with me a valuable lesson inscribed on my bleeding personna.

The thing about the jar of stars... It just seems so familiar. And as I fold each one with a thought in mind, I remember a door that was opened. I am a boy who gave up his religion, when he stopped beliving in god or buddha or whatever u call it for chinese ppl... Because ppl usually only find themselves looking to the higher plane when they are in need, but nvr when they are fine and happy. It seems so absurd to me that it is only when despearation do we seek refuge in the shadow of god's will, and that's just so sad for god, because ppl only turn to him when there is nothing else to turn to, or when things need... a miracle.

Fate is a powerful thing I assure. As I spend nights sometimes feeling the hurt from my scarred heart and crying out everything held within, I just start to see... How it was nvr anyone's fault in anything, just fate working its way into any opportunity it gets to ruin everything. I want to fold finish this meaningful jar of stars, becuz with each star I implant a memory, and as white as christmas is about to come... May god if he truely exists... show me one last sign...

It'll nvr happen again... ... ... ... =///