Recently I am beginning to have clarity of thoughts... My emotions are still as overwhelming as ever and I cannot stop this. However what I do have control over now is whether or not all these powerful emotions are channeled into actions. I see no logic or sense in whatever I feel like doing. Because I ask myself... What's the point of letting these powerful emotions make me do what I feel like doing? Ultimately what I feel like doing will only lead to utter chaos. So I put on a mask... ... Told myself that if I think everything is alright then it will be alright... But problems just don't work that way. They cling on to you and sap you dry when you least expected. I really wished I had some company which I desperately tried to seek over the long weekends... Part of me had already accepted the fact as part of my daily life. I'm disappointed... that's true... But I also blame myself for it...
Right now... I'm drowning in an open ocean. My heart is in a mess and my mind is in a whirlpool. My soul seeks for purpose because I am lost in my own values and philosophies... I lack direction and I lack drive... And to top it all off... My work is starting to kill me when I least expected. =/
HELP! HELP! I know I don't say it out when I am drowning in my work. But the truth is I am so damn stressed out that I fear going to work itself. I can't even sleep properly with the constant voice inside that is constantly reminding me of the outstanding works and what I have not done... =X I can be on pm shift but to me my only solution is like going in early or I'll die... ... I feel like breaking down and crying... and at the same time... my heart is still suffering grave injury...
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