Leech

I wonder... what's happening all around me... as I play and play the piano until my hands hurt and my mind all blur... I asked myself what's my worth and rememebered... someone says I am hopeless...

And I see insecurity within myself... reflected in actions, feelings and gestures... I won't force anymore... ... But dun dun believe me... Becuz i feel that feeling of disbelief... all over again... =( Because I speak only the voice of truth... short term memory and u forget... It breaks my heart... but dun destroy it and say I am making dubious claims... becuz I swear u know... I didn't =( Believe me plz... dun say I am a liar and imagined things... Becuz I'm lucid... and it hurts so much hearing it from u... U know... i went to learn it... ... How can it be i made it up? plz believe me...

And I am tearing and crying so madly as I make this post... but I know I'm emo and easily sad.. And people too tired to care anymore... But it hurts so much each time...... not playing or acting or what... ... It's real... ... And i dun even know... if people believe anymore... Probably always just think I'm just putting up a pitiful act or sorts...

I feel like a leech and I fear that forever does not exist... Trying so hard to make forever exist... I can no longer make u feel happy anymore... nor help u anymore... T.Ti wish i was more worth... but i can't... ...

Please believe me... ... I'm not lying... or trying to say i right and u wrong... but even if u forget... dun say i lied and fabricate stories... I really didn't =( and It HURTS me so much... u thought i did