Hidden Wound

Today... I saw with my own eyes that sometimes people just don't care about what happens to others... When I saw it happen I really felt very sad and disappointed =( There was one point when i was really very angry and wanted so bad to seek an explanation... but then I remembered god's teachings that is to never get angry and to have compassion where it least is to exist. My fire was extinguished but I really felt like crying thereafter...

I believed that the same thing would never happen again =X I really really thought it wouldn't... But still it did. And as I threw the trash away and washed the maggot infested trash bin with the toilet brush under the hot sun... I kept on finding possible reasons for what had happened... But I really couldn't... Couldn't explain it =( And I couldn't understand how people can do such things... doing things that will cause trouble for others. Choosing to let other people suffer~~~

I could never do such things. So I tried so hard to be in their shoes but I still couldn't... I cleared everything myself in the end... and was disgusted by how bad human nature could get. Understood sort of why god would have termed mankind sinners...

I did saw a kind soul in the long run... someone who sacrificed himself for the sake of others... Alas... I thought it wasn't such a bad day afterall...

I realized today... As i try to be a good person... And people tell me I am a very nice person... I couldn't help feel a painful wound deep inside. I would have thought it was gone by now... Truth be told I am happier now and feel more secure after embracing god. But I never ever found out why... someone had to hate me so much when I thought I had been a nice guy all along~~~ For that this wound never stopped bleeding =/ And I pray to god... Pray so hard... for him to hear my inner pain and heal my wounded heart~~~