I know I should be busy studying away now... ... In fact this is my second post in one day... Just feel so blank and down... Like I am trapped in some dark brooding depression... Can't seem to focus on homework because my attention span seems miraculously short-lived... Feel like doing nothing and just thinking... and thinking... and thinking... ... Thinking about nothing... ...
Feel kinda bitter inside... A mild prick perhaps and a gapping hole somehow... Things seem bleak now... maybe life is bleak too... ... Can't seem to find back something I lost... Can't seem to see ahead and see a nice future... only a cold and dark future... ... Dark clouds are gathering over me specifically... I seem to be a magnet for disaster...
Feel like talking and venting... yet I'm so tired to repeat every single thing... when I have been repeating it to myself... for the dunno how many tens of times... seriously can someone truely really understand what is this I am feeling? Is this all in the mind and self-made? I dunno... but feelings are true... at least it is real for me...
What the hell is wrong you know? It's just so dark... and everyone is so busy with stuffs... and I dun blame them... but wallowing in the sadness and loneliness alone... i feel so depressed... As days pass I doubt my own worth everyday... if truely I am a valuable asset to this world or just redundant as in... worthless... to anyone...
You know the saddest part of it all... ... or maybe the saddest plight anyone can ever end up is when... when no one in this world including yourself dun make u feel valuable. And to add it all up... ... feelings of non-belonging creeps up my soul again... and I am dashed at the very fact... I feel I have no family members anymore...
How much one's worth.... is not how much one can bring to the future... it is how much people around you make you feel that value... ... And I feel worthless... ... =((
I wonder... if I am gone one day... will anyone truely feel something important lost? T.T
No comments:
Post a Comment