Hang Over

In the midst of it all I can't believe I still have the time to blog... Ask me what's wrong? Frankly I have no clue... Just feel so heavy everyday like some dark cloud constantly looms over me... Wish I could talk to someone... But so tired of repeating everything all over again... I rather stay mute to myself... Feels like I am a madman in other people's eyes... Yet... now i rather choose to be a mute in people's eyes... ...

Those moments in school when I just suddenly feel this overwhelming state of blankness or periods when I just wanna emo and dun speak at all... I wonder... what's up? A chill wind blows... and I shiver... constantly reminded of the pain of losing what once was close... and now facing one other gaining what's lost... I can't do anything you know... =(

sadly I can't... but only bear mute witness... ... I wonder if in the silence of me.... You'll notice me fading into the background or the rain pouring just over my head... Feel blank and somehow when I thought I was lonely... as days pass by I feel even more lonely... Dun wanna talk to anyone about this anymore... Won't spread anything too... as promised... Feel like I'm drifitng... Drifitng till I can finally land firm... A wind blown seed searching for fertile soil to bear roots... Because truth is... for some reason dun feel like I belong to anywhere anymore... just feel like going into solitude for awhile... ... Just wanna be all alone and emo during breaktimes... because I feel so blank and thoughts fly past so fast I dun even remember what i thinking afterward...

Feel like dissociating from my life and the people for awhile... Because I feel like being alone and gloomy... Don't wanna spread it anyways... =( So i rather I am the one to isolate myself... Perhaps being alone will do me some good too... Maybe I am a life wrecker... Feel so tired everyday in the heart... But alas one thing that makes me hang on so convicted... I give up... don't wanna act hero anymore... at least for now... I just want a peaceful and plain quiet life...

I give up voicing because... No one cares and trusts... I wanna talk but I am so tired of repetition... I wanna be a mute... Searching for a matter to stopper that bleeding heart and gapping wound... ... Wallowing in the moonlight...