Happy Holidays

Today is one of the important holidays which we really get into the festive mood. For some... this year seems rather dead. While for others it is as awesome as ever. And as for me... I am disappointed that there is no 'Christmas Carol' shown on TV this year. It has been a show that I have been watching every christmas since I was in primary school... hai sadded...

Well nothing much to say about today but just that I start to feel even more inferior at my family outing. Shall not say what was that about... But really hope I can rise too and become more superior... It can be done... But then I have to overcome my own mental barrier =/// Once that's settled it would all work out... Hai such a tall mental barrier that is =////

Recently got a bit upset over something i deem trivial... yet I always feel really bu shuang afterwards but I dun say it out. That's why I've decided to blog it out now in my new blogotherapy hoping that it would all be better afterward =X. As I told someone I shall control myself and prevent myself from going haywire anymore. No more repeat of the past. From now on it shall be me and mr cautious and mrs careful... I shall tread like I'm on thin ice and think before I act.

Now is probably a mindset that is crossing the line =.= So I must curb it. Frankly I also dunno why I always have this freakin problem when dealing with this person. What exactly do i want? becuz i see the past happening in my mind and I'm so afraid yet I can't help fitting it into the present now. One story many endings... Wonder whether it is truely with us that the choices lie or is every choice we make the will of fate itself...

I feel bu shuang in my heart. But i know this is haywired thinking... Hope it passes soon... probably after a good night's sleep. Becuz I really wanna be a good fren and someone in control of myself above any other things... I pray with fingers crossed that I've truely changed...